In Pursuit Of ...

2010-02-11T19:56:00.001-08:00

http://metamorphosinglife.blogspot.com/

Hello Folks!
Hope your 2010 has started off on the right note. I am sorry for the lack of posts / updates what-so-ever!!! Pardon me... but honestly speaking. I have not been tracking, I have been lazy, eating crap ... tried to get back on track, wasn't into it, whatever = Epic Fail! This is really tough admitting it, even if it is online, on a blog. There won't be anymore new posts here. The blog itself will be here as a reminder but still nothing more.

A lot has happened during the winter good and bad. I let myself go. And of course this is not easy to accept that all my previous posts and plannings have been let down. But it's okay. I forgive myself. Why? I came back. And I'm strarting fresh that too, in a new blog. Cause the previous posts are holding me back in a strange way. I am moving my blog ... of course it'll focus on myself getting healthy-loosing weight and choosing the right path. But also choosing to do what is RIGHT for me? I'm 25 years old and I have not done or accomplished much... to be honest if it were possible, my picture would be right beside the word 'pathetic' in a dictionary. No, I'm not being too hard on myself cause I need to wake up and face reality and improve myself inside and out. I have to grow up and improve myself for no one but me! AS A WHOLE ... 2010 is about changing myself to a more responsbile, happy and healthy human-being. How? Well just follow me & find out if this one's gonna be an EPIC WIN!

http://metamorphosinglife.blogspot.com/

WI - 12, 13 & 14

2009-12-07T18:22:00.000-08:00

So it's been a while... sorry, for the lack of 'actual' posts. But I've made sure to update my status through the side-bar tools' and of course weight-loss tweets.

I want to keep this short and simple, and will delve into details in another post soon. promise.

WI 12 = I lost -1.2 lbs from my previous week's gain by bringing the scale to 192.2 lbs (Nov. 21.09)

WI 13 = I gained + 1.2 lbs (that I lost the week before...boo!) bringing me back to and 193.4 lbs (Nov. 28.09)

WI 14 = I lost -1 lb in my current weigh-in on (Dec. 5. 09) which brings me to 192.4 lbs.

I was happy to see the loss in my last w-i; however, I feel like a yo-yo ...being tugged back and forth within the 90's range. I really want to get out of it but it appears to be difficult. But I am aware of the obstacles towards my goals. Simply put, mainly the lack of physical exercise (and kinda' over-doing it during wknds). Thankfully last weekend was better along with the rest of week. This wknd was okay too... of course a bit of sweet and more but not so bad (i think, i hope). LOL.... well let's see how it goes. I am not rushing myself...but I would love to be out of the 90's by late December '09. PLEASE! shout out to myself...my lazy-arse!!!

Good luck to all...hope ur w-in's going better. I am not putting any pressure on myself. Just trying to make healthier choices no matter what. Cheers :D

WI - 11

2009-11-14T06:36:00.000-08:00

Just had my weigh-in ...and taaa daaaa I gained +1 lb, which brings me to 193.4 lbs! Unlike my hopes to loose or get out of the 190's ...i guess I'll be stickin' around a lil' longer. hmmm... who is to blame? Perhaps me, my lack of physical activity, the very fact that I go to bed sooo late and wake up even later in the morning. So ya, it sucks! But I shall try not to let it spoil my satty day; and, as for the rest of week ... i shall take it as a challenge!!! :D

ps. dunno why, in a strange way today ...before i got up on that scale, I had a feeling, the numbers would go up perhaps. It's not like I went over-board with crazy food but I guess I did eat a lil' n thr but i did track! ...don't really know! o_0 aaa shucks!

"A strong positive attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug."

Hope the rest of u have a great wk. Good Luck to all!
yours truly ~

I'll be myself soon!

WI-10

2009-11-09T21:36:00.000-08:00

I lost -1.6 lbs on Saturday (November 7.'09), bringing me to 192.4 lbs!!! :) YAY! I was happy to see the scale. I haven't been to the gym though (i think it's been 2 weeks since). But that isn't the secret to my loss or breaking of the plateau ... i have been tracking everything, and eating within my daily points target limit (actually i've been going a little off but choosing healthy stuff instead) plus i think the lack of over-the-top strength-training.

It was that 'TOM' so I was a lil' apprehensive to get up on that scale but to my pleasent surprise I did loose a good number. It was STILL in the solids and that made me a happy camper. I've been feeling lazy lately (in matters of physical activities). I should at least go out for brisk-walks if not the gym but I have done none. I know the loosing is okay right now but I need to tone myself a little and being active will still make the process faster if not, a tad better to say the least??? It is a lifestyle change after all. Not only should one choose to eat right/healthy but also learn to incorporate a healthy dose of activity to stay fit and fine. Good thing is, I've been drinking a little more 'water' than my normal intakes ...which is a positive change. I go for the water first. I want to hit the gym this week (tomorrow I shall force myself ...will try to get my butt out of the house no matter what). It's so cold so it sucks but I gotta do this. So here's to another week. I want to get out of the "190's" zone actually ... i won't say it'll happen next wk (who knows but I don't wanna pressurize myself). I'll do my bit and only hope for the best.

I don't wanna put any stress on myself anymore. But yes, it will be nice to be out of the 90's :) SOON!
Good luck to everyone ...and here's to another week! Cheers!

I'll be myself soon!

WI - 9

2009-10-31T20:53:00.000-07:00

Oh! Let me just say 'YAY'!!! I finally lost in solid digits and that is an absolute YAY factor for me; especially after a difficult last week. Frankly, earlier this week, I didn't bother to stress as much and ate within my points (once or twice went over-board with 2/3 points but in matters of healthy food intake) and tracked on my 'ww' point-tracker :) it felt good. I was a little excited and a little nervous at the same time earlier in the morning today but I told myself... 'whatever!' and stepped on that big-bad scale (didn't bother making as much fuss as I normally do). VOILA! I lost -2.6 lbs which brought me to 194 lbs today :) I am so pleased to see the numbers. After such a long gap I see a solid digit loss. It was a great feeling. And magically the whole day went well too.

Last week the gain brought me down on top of the additional 'personal' arguments and stuff. oh ya just FYI: Everything is quite okay and pretty much back to normal on the personal front. Btw, thanks for all the support (here and on WW board) :)

I am not at all discussing any weight related matters with my dad though. It's better if I don't take his 'two-cents' on the subject, hehe. Best avoided. I am doing my thing, quietly and hopefully, this time with the 'PROPER' help of Weight Watchers, I shall move forward. Frankly, October hasn't been the best month for me, in terms of weight-loss ..it was all in points but today (the end of oct) I was happy to see the scale as I stood there. Halloween isn't a big deal or an issue for me anymore. We live in a condo and not many kids come for trick-or-treating really. And strangely, I don't go berserk over candies much. So no worries in that department. I cross my fingers for a better November though.

Point to be noted: I only did gym once this week ..wasn't really up for it, was busy too. On top of that I did strength-training only once in the beginning of this whole week, which also helped I think. I will be going to the gym more for this coming week but I'll keep the weight-training for only the one day (beginning of the week) and the rest only jog/run/cardio stuff. I wanna see the numbers slide downwards. Only in the later stage will I add on the strength-training to the routine. It'll be more vigorous in order to tone up, but for now, this will be at minimum. I might start up my pilates though, cause it stretches the body and makes one feel good. And this is at home (cause I got the video). Btw, I also added the 'scale tracker' on my side bar (it'll show all the + & - that I had on the scale) will continue on ... as it'll help show my progress in a different way. I like it! A lot of this and that...dos and donts! I just realized one thing. I need to relax and enjoy the journey ..and avoid stressing, simply follow the required steps!

I hope u all had a happy halloween. Wish u a great week ahead!

I'll be mysellf soon.

It's our duty to find something beautiful within life; no matter how slight <3

2009-10-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

I need inspiration and motivation ... there are so many things in my life that I've put in the backseat - out of fear, negativity from others, out of sacrifice or simply due to lack of confience or motivation. NO MORE!!! I NEED TO LIVE MY DREAMS... and stop wasting time!
I'll be myself soon!

Christopher Gardner: [to his son] You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period.

WI-8 & MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

2009-10-24T21:34:00.001-07:00

Let's get it out ... i weighed in earlier today, when I first stepped on the scale it showed '195.8 lbs' and i was surprised cause it was the same as my last weigh-in, so i got up again and same thing. I got off and waited a while ... and then when i got on, bam! - 196.6 lbs. And after that no matter how many times I got up and down, it stuck at the 196.6 lbs. That ticked me off. I was prepared for not a great loss (due to my strength-training three days in a row earlier this week) but still I was NOT ready to face a gain. I was really sad :( I am very disappointed and kind of discouraged. Yes my clothes feel a little loose, I feel better, but still; I gotta get moving no matter.

And right then from the morning, my whole day didn't really go well (whether be it at work or at home with the family, my dad to be specific). Don't get me wrong, he's a good father but still he knows how to push my buttons and he can be freeeaagin annoying or mean/rude. Whatever! I'll get into that later. So to sum it up... on my way back home after a light dinner at a relative's place ... we were driving through timmy's. I ordered myself a small ice-cap (once a week pleasure after my weigh-in during the wknd btw) and was craving for a choc-chip muffin cause I was a 'good girl' the whole wk, but my dad started making harsh comments. (btw, I hate it when they/'whoever' start acting like they know a lot more about what 'I AM' doing, no matter what, it seriously p*sses me off). On top of that they start interfering and commenting in a negative manner. I even defended myself about how I was following a healthy routine through out the week and I deserved to enjoy a little no matter what. He was telling me what an unhealthy image my body portrayed and eventually, something something led to another and my dad was saying no matter what I can't make a difference, etc..blah blah blah.. i snapped inside though. After a while I remained quiet. I didn't order the muffin anyways, haven't touched the ice-cap (won't tonight). He spoiled it big time. So discouraging and it hurts more than anything.

The little confidence or self-esteem I was building up has been smashed. I won't say for good but it is bruised alright. I feel like a looser, a failure who won't be able to achieve anything, forget the weight-loss goals. I cried a lot too. I'm a looser, a 25 year old who still lives with her parents, who can't drive a car, who hates her fcukin' part-time retail job... can't really make use of the so-called degree and of course a fat ass!!!! GOSH! I am so mean to myself...but it is a reality check! I just took a shower and my head has cooled off. I still feel hurt but no use. I've finally come to change about my lifestyle in terms of making healthier choices, slowly but surely...and; so I've decided that I won't let ANYONE...and I mean ANYONE...ruin it for me. He calls me selfish and all but you know what. ...i always let others get ahead of me, I put them before me; it has happened from childhood until now (no matter where and how). I know it - God knows it. I thought about it and I've made up my mind! I am going to put myself ahead this time. I need to change things around me. I have to stop being heavily dependent on my parents or anyone for that matter. I gotta rely on myself and for that I need to take care of myself. Appreciate myself, Love myself, Respect myself. Cause if I won't; no one else will. I feel a little better after writing this. I don't want to say my parents aren't supportive (especially, my mom is always there for me no matter what)...they are caring and loving (and I still love them). But it seems like, my dad has a dual or sometimes multiple personalities hidden within him...that can be harsh and cut through someone's heart. I won't forgive him for this... at least, not soon.

Well one good came out of this, I was pondering whether to re-joinning 'Weight Watcher's' online or not but after this incident, I was sure of it. I came home, cried my heart out and logged in and made myself an official weight-watchers online member. I want to achieve my goals. This is not for anyone or to prove anything. It's for me, and if that's selfish...be it... the rest can go fcuk themselves. I don't swear much but I'm not in the midst of a happy scenario rite now. After joining WW I realized.. my daily target points should be lower than what I am consuming daily. And I have made my ultimate weight-loss goal to 130 lbs now (and we'll see how low we go from there). According to my height and age, I should be somewhere btwn 113lbs to 140's I believe. So it should be ok. I'm happy that I joined as I'll have a proper tracking system at my disposal ..instead of the diary w/ the not so accurate points. No matter...i'm on the right path and something good came out of this bad situation. And as for the coming week. Only time will tell.

I'll be myself soon!

Something new perhaps?!?

2009-10-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

Hi there people...

This is my day 4 going onto week 8. I was just browsing about the 'weight-watchers' online forum and reading up various posts. I came across this post about 'the wendie plan' . It is almost the same as Weight-Watchers points but the minor difference is, the redistribution of those given points through out the week (in order to attain better weight-loss results). I don't know how true this is but most of the reviewers have had positive things to say about it. The past couple of weeks I haven't really seen too great a loss (mainly within -0.4 lb points ranges of loss only). Which is not really satisfying; especially if I work hard (i haven't as much but still). There's nothing to loose except for my weight so I shall be giving this one a try, come this new week.

In a strange way, I am already on the wendie plan (with my one or actually two - Super High Days [SHD] of points intake within the seven days) lol. But the rest of my distribution is a little effy in comparison to this particular plan. They have points-chart to follow according to one's weight-range so of course I'm going to try out the 'Points Target 24 - (Weigh 175 - 199 lbs)'. The objective behind this whole concept is to keep one's body guessing. If our body gets too used to our food intake/ or even exercise routine ...it can slow down the loss or so. But if we change about the routine (as mentioned in my previous posts) then it is more prone to quicker or greater loss in that scale. One must also drink as much 'WATER' as possible. It will make a difference no matter what. My next weigh-in is coming closer ... i can only hope for the best :) Then on to the wendie road I go ..haha!

Also, I shall be adding a chart on the side-bar, with all my weekly loss listed out (& any additional significance). I can track better and see what has helped me with my loss with the weeks to come. Here's to new things!!! Cheers :)

WI - 7

2009-10-20T10:52:00.000-07:00

This is my weigh-in for wk 7 (October 17.2009). Let's get straight to the point, I only lost -0.4lb! I know I will repeat the same dialogue, 'a loss is a loss' but come'on. I've been stuck w/ the whole 0.point something mark through out the weeks. I wanna see a more solid loss. But one good thing is, I'm FINALLY out of the 196 mark! Phew! I'm now at 195.8 lbs! YAY for that :D This week there's more gym activities in picture. Weekend was kind of bad for me, in terms of food intake (ate a lot of sweets, due to festivities) but once monday hit, fullstop! Good about that.

Just a note, I was looking into 'protein shakes' and 'slim-fast' drink products, was wondering how it would be as a substitute for dinner meal. I want to keep my night meals as light as possible but filling too. But after I got all the helpful resposes at the 'WW-POST' online, I decided not to try them out. Better to stick to healthier, fresh and filling choices than opt for something out of a can. On another note, I hurt my foot on the side, and it hurts a bit if I put too much pressure on that particular side. Don't really know how I ended up getting hurt (it's more from the inside, the pain)??! *_* but I'm okay i guess, I am not going to bail out on gym. I'll be going today as well before work. Rest, well... i'm looking forward to WI-8 like every other weigh-ins. But as my sweet-intakes were high last wknd (repeat offender, lol) I don't wanna sky-rocket my hopes for loss. But I seriously wanan loose more than just 0.4 lb next time. HEHEE.. i got to try something new and change around my food plans.

I did some healthy shopping >>>bought 0% healhty yogurt, which is good and tasty (in vanilla flavour), bought a pop-corn, some healthy granola bars. Recently in gym, I added a few more strength-training machines in my course, that focuses on my arms to be specific. Cause my arms are flabby and big. I need to tone 'em and trim 'em. It worked before so I'm back to 'em. I'm also going to add in legs/butt cheeks toner along with abs routines into my work-out regime. I worked on 'weights' yesterday, will do so today and then tomorrow. But the remaining two days after will be of rest from strength-training...need to cool off... other wise it might effect my weigh-in more so,this is something I've noticed before. I am thinking of attending 'goodlife fitness's' yoga/body flow classes and maybe some 'cardio sessions' if I can, cause they help with the stretching and toning of body/muscles, its not easy but relaxing at the end. I've to look into my schedule and see what can be done. I realy want to get involved. Will update on that later.

Got to play around w/ my routine in a healthy manner so that my mind/body doesn't get too used to it. Have to keep 'em alert and more receptive to change :) GOOD LUCK to the rest of u...and here's to another healthy week. Cheers!

NOTE TO SELF: I need to stop going crazy during the weekends after my weigh-ins. I mean I can enjoy a little more in terms of food or even sweet but I should NOT go crazy lol...cause that 'guilty' feeling isn't good at all. Keep it in mind this time!!!

WI-6

2009-10-10T21:49:00.000-07:00

Ding ding ding ... i had my weigh-in earlier today or shall I say 'yesterday' cause it's past midnight. Jeeeez i talk about going off to bed early and here I'm blogging. Such is life. No, I'll be logging off soon but just thought I would post it cause tomorrow, I might be going out of town.

So ya, as mentioned in my previous posts, this past week was a dud. Courtesy of 'TOM' I avoided gym, was lazy, craved food and also the previous wknd took in quite a bit (or majority) of a cake. sad. i know. But I tried my best to track and make healthy choice throughout the week. When I stepped on that scale, all I could hope and wish was not to gain. Maybe remain the same but not gain. And to my surprise... i lost -0.2lb!!! YAY!!! Yes, it's only -0.2lb bringing me to 196.2 lbs (fyi: i've been stuck here for quite a while now, eeww) but a LOSS is a LOSS. I don't think I was ever so happy to see such a small loss ..hahaha. Life, makes u appreciate the little things (literally). But ya, glad to see there wasn't any addition going on.

I have to attend a family thanksgiving dinner this coming monday but it's okay. I'll save some points and just opt for healthier choices as best as I can. The rest of the week, exercise is oh so in my agenda and track track track. I wanna get out of the '196' mark at least!!!!! phew tired. So ya... I hope u all have a great week ahead.

And happy thanksgiving ya'll :)

2009-10-09T12:35:00.000-07:00

Lack of Sleep = Weight Gain :(

Reflections Part 1

I believe it's quite a well known fact that lack of sleep affects both our body's physical and mental state. The saying is true: "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a wo/man healthy, wealthy and wise." My weight-loss journey is now more than just about looking slim, good, and being able to wear fashionable clothes. I want to get real, it is about adjusting to a healthier lifestyle so that I can enjoy a more active social life, feeling good from 'inside' not just the outside, being comfortable in my own skin - be it summer or winter, and having that level of self-esteem rise up as time moves forward. Just eating right (tracking my food-points / ww plan), and exercising through out the week can not help me 100%. Not if I don't take care of my much required/needed 'sleep' issue. I've been neglecting its importance but it is time I pay a closer attention to it for my well-being.

I enjoy make-up a lot; and I'm very conscious about skin-care like majority of women. However; I prefer to stick to natural remedies instead of immediately reaching out for the temporary 'quick-fix' solutions from a store's shelf. I want to take care of myself, in all ways possible and following a beauty regime is important to me. I must admit that I'm more into it now than I was ever before. <-- you must be wondering, what's it got to do w/ anything? well everything's inter-related, so read on...

It's not about being vain, I just want to take care of myself in all means possible. Like a lot of people, I have combination to oily skin but I try my best to take care of it. As my skin is overtly sensitive, I can't apply just about any chemical onto my skin (which I prefer not to anyways). Due to my WeightWatcher's plan I totally avoid 'milk-chocolates' as it's not too good and it causes a pimple or two for me. I hate the fact that I'm 25 years old; and still, I go through this. Anyways, now I'm still suffering from break-outs (more toned down but it's there). With the help of make-up, one can hardly notice it on my face but I know it's there. And I don't like it. I tried figuring out the problem and a lot of it has to do with lack of proper sleep. Especially, since the past couple of weeks. Whether I'm talking to my dbf into the wee hours of morning or just net-surfing (as I'm addicted to my computer) ... it isn't helping me :( Now that I think about it, it is also slowing down my weightloss because my body isn't getting the required amount of the much needed sleep or rest. Also, waking up really late in the morning is not a solution as it still influences in a negative matter.

Related Informative Links that I came across:

NOTE TO SELF: I must try to make a routine... well, or fix a time when i should get to bed at night and wake up early in the morning. My problem is, I sleep really late and I wake up really late. It isn't good. My body will take time to adjust to the new routine ... but I know if followed dedicatedly - the new sleep-pattern, my body will learn to adapt and catch up it's due zzzZs :)

WATER = When it's clear, your weight-loss is near :)

Reflections Part 2

As supported by WW and others 'WATER' intake is also important and I don't drink as much as I should. Doubt it meets the minimum requirement even. Drinking water will not only help clear and add glow to skin naturally but also help in weight-loss and keep one's appetite in control.

Note to self: I have to force myself to drink water as much as possible. I'll benefit in more ways than one. (This maybe too much information for you but, if you notice that your urine is more yellow then you're not drinking enough water. It should be clearer or a faded shade) LOL :-p i know i know ...too much detail but hey, whatever helps!

Drinking water helps clean out our body's system, it helps clear out all the toxins in one's body; hence, the clearer and glowy skin plus it helps with one's weight-loss (faster). Trust me, I have seen it so I believe it. Also, avoid carbonated, caffeinated or alcoholic beverages. Lucky for me, I don't drink alcohol (maybe once yr..some wine? ^_^) and I don't really feel the need to either. Coffee intakes have been reduced to a maximum of one or two intakes per week (which includes my fav. ice-cap from Timmy's :D); and, as for sodas, I might enjoy it twice in a blue moon as it's best avoided due to its high level of sugar, and unhealhty benefits. lol.

Hope these reflections helped you as much as it has helped me realize my plus and minuses. I believe I will be posting additional 'reflections' on my habits & more with time cause it is a good thing. One must always stop and observe if what s/he is doing is having a positive or negative impact on his/her life.

This week has been 'blah' for me as I didn't get any exercise done. I have tried my best to stay within points but due to my hazzardous nature of sleeping ...don't know what my weigh-in will be tomorrow *_*. I can only cross my fingers hahaa.. it's okay. I'm going through TOM this week so I don't wanna beat myself w/ pointless stress. But I'm looking forward to a new week of healthy eating, work-outs, proper rest & sleep with ample dose of water intake :o)

GOOD LUCK TO YOU with your reflections and endeavours!

WI-5 ... let's move on.

2009-10-05T18:18:00.000-07:00

I had my weigh-in #5 earlier this Saturday (October 3) and I lost -0.4lb only. That brought me to a 196.4 lbs. Yes, it isn't much. In fact, I was kind of taken back cause I was a 'good' girl the whole week, did my physical activity and ate within points but still. And I would be lying if I said I was okay. I was a bit disappointed but what can I do right? Move on, work on the coming week and so on.

Just a thought. The lack of change on the scale might be also due to my strength training exercises ... since it replaces fat with muscles; so ya, there is an impact on the weigh-in. But the NSV (non-scale victory) part is, my clothes feel looser already. I mean my dress pants used to be way more snug around the thighs but now it's roomier and more comfy. Am happy about that.

Good thing is, there was a special family occasion this weekend, something to celebrate. But the sad part was, I kinda over-did it when it came to the 'sweet' factor. I got a big sweet-tooth (lol, pun intended). There was 'CAKE'! blame the cake I tell ya! And yesterday (monday), it was no active day and I ended up with a couple of cookies in my tummy. Yummy in my tummy but feeling 'guilty' and pathetic as hell. Yet another reminder.. I shouldn't over-indulge the so-called 'good' things. Once the occasion or festivity is over, we must move on and not let it continue even after it's done. I'm so weak when it comes to 'self-control' in matters of food (especially sweets). A BIG REALITY CHECK!

Well I'm back on track now. Not gonna touch anymore of those home-made, freshly baked cookies or anything else. Keep on telling myself 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels'. hehee. It's okay. I ate, it's done with. No point sulking. Good news is I bought myself a pair of track-pants so that I can enjoy my power-walks/strolls outside as it's getting really cold now plus in the gym. So happy about that. I'm opting for 'large' sizes instead of the extra-large. I've yet to try 'em out. I know I suck, should have tried it then and there only but I have a feeling it'll be okay. Just gotta trim the bottoms being the shorty that I am :o)

So yaaa.. looking forward to the coming week(s), hopes and new aspirations / inspirations. Let's move on, shall we?

p.s. i don't feel like it but I think I'll head out early and hit the gym before work in the eve. It should clear up my cake-filled lungs n bod ...set all straight. Am back to tracking. woooohoo!

WI-4

2009-09-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

Earlier today was my weigh-in. I prefer weighing in around the morning hours, get over with it you know..hahaa and eat a little more freely through out the rest of the day. Mind you, it is specifically for the day only and next day onwards, I'm more watchful I guess. Good news is I lost -2.4lbs today, bringing me to a 196.8lbs :) YAY! In total a loss of -3.2lbs. It felt really good, still does..hehe.

Yesterday, I was planning to eat something light overnight cause today I had my weigh-in but to my luck we had guests over and there was of course, some delicious platters being served. But I didn't loose control. In fact I didn't miss it much cause I had a goal in mind, to wake up the next morning and look at the scale. I mean I worked so hard the whole week, can't let it go to waste. So I stuck to my normal routine. So that was a NSV (non-scale victory) for me as I didn't give in to temptation. I'm looking forward to the coming week. Will be hitting the gym and tracking again. It helps more when I track my food-points intake. I shall be sharing with you all some positive stuff that I'm looking forward to as the winter comes closer and I continue on with this weight-loss journey; but, that is for another post. Hope you all have an awesome week and weight-loss. R'mbr 'baby-steps'... it'll take you to your goal no matter what :) PAT PAT on my back!

Setting Mini-Goals - Reach for that Star!

2009-09-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

I have broken my goals. Hahaha no worries, I've just broken down my small goal. Officially, my ultimate target is to reach the appropriate goal-weight of 130 to 135 lbs mark according to my age, height/(BMI).

However, to make things easier I made the target a little more realistic and reachable by setting my status's goal weight up to 155 lbs (which is half of what I'm at present) so by all means, it is healthy.

To make things even more interesting, and the loss -process to feel a tad bit faster; and, to find more reasons to celebrate I broke down the 155 lbs mark into half. Thus, I set a mini-goal of 177.5 lbs for now. Once I reach that (which will appear sooner) I shall celebrate, do a little dance ..hahaa..and then continue on with the journey toards reaching 155 lbs (which will also appear to come a little faster). Actually it's all in the head! But I just want to make things appear a little simpler and easier. It feels great to reach one's goal. But when the journey is a long one, it can get tiring, boring and at times one might feel like giving up. But I don't want to give up. So to make this weight loss journey fun and 'less of a pressure' I made some 'resting-stops' along the way. Each stop will give me the satisfaction of reaching a tad closer towards my goal without feeling too much pressure. The burden is less and journey is more relaxing and enjoyable. I will be having a total of 2 'rest-stops' in this journey before I reach my ultimate goal of 135 lbs. So the rest-stop #1 is 177.5 lbs mark and then the last rest-stop #2 is reaching 155 lbs mark. There is more satisfaction involved I believe.. let's see if this little experiment of mine works ... x'crossmyfingers'x

I am not rushing myself. But my desire to be happy and healthier as I welcome year 2010 is attainable. And I'll be happy if I'll be at one of my 'rest-stops' by then. I don't want to push myself too much that I break down and give up amidst the long-road. No more. After all I am not dieting. This is a life-style change for me and it takes time to adapt, to get into a new routine and follow a certain way of life... one can not rush such process. Patience and Dedication is definitely the key.

This is only my third week in this routine and I feel more positive than ever (i am aware that this isn't applicable to every day/week to come, hahaa). I make it a point to visualize myself in a healthier state every day (more on that in a later post). I get distracted easy so this is a clever way to keep me involved ... if you're like me, maybe you should consider breaking things down to make the weight-loss journey a little easier on you. No matter, Good Luck ...cause u gotta do, what u gotta do. I'm almost touching that star ... cause I'm more sure of myself and my goals & it's a good thing :) Let's do this!!!!

WI-3

2009-09-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

So this is my weigh-in#3 for this week and I have lost -0.4lb once again, and that brought me to 199.2 lbs today (September 19.09). A total loss of -0.8 lb so far.

Yes, I haven't lost a lot but fortunately, I haven't gained either (better to loose a little than gain a lot - mind's mantra). But that is all due to the fact that I haven't really put in any physical exercise, nor have I tracked my food-intake points yet. But like I said, I shall be doing the point-tracking for my food from this coming week. And hopefully, God Have Mercy... i shall see a lower number on my weight-scale in the coming week 4! For now good luck to all and pat pat on my back.

P.S. i was thinking of making some interesting posts on 'weight-loss related' issue but right now I need to catch up on my zzzZ's cause am simply exhausted. And note to self, 'SLEEP' ..proper sleep is important if I want to have a healthy and faster weight-loss. My body needs rest as well, I can not be a night-owl and just sleep for 4-5 hrs. and slog around the rest of the day.. it's all connected (mind, body, soul)! Alrite.. nighty night...see you tomorrow :)

Am on Twitter & much much more!!!

2009-09-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

So to prove 'seriousness' on my part, I have done two things... to keep myself on track, dedicated and motivated. I have created myself a twitter profile. I shall update there my weekly weigh-in status but not only that ... random thoughts, troubles, inspirations and what nots! I also hope I can get more people to join me in this journey through my blog and twitter.

Visit: http://www.twitter.com/FindingStarGirl

I also signed up for the free e-tooling 'weight-watchers' online community. You can do it too as it's FREE and a wonderful resource. You are open to share your news, views with like-minded people. You can reach out for support 24/7, get inspiration for yourself and spread some too...swap healthy recipes and much more. I go by the alias 'stargirl09' there.
NOTE: I'm in no way associated with 'WW'; I'm only suggesting the online community cause it is helpful.

I hope to 'tweet' my thoughts and x'cross my fingers'x, I shall gain some supporters along the way... cause support, encouraging comments and inspirations will help me along this journey. At times when I might feel like quitting or I get distracted...I will remember all the people who are in this with me and I shall keep on going. Basically, by setting myself up in the public forum I believe I am more accountable for my actions. Hope it works. I know there are people / girls / women who share similar views and issues like I do. I think it is a nice way we can help each other out by knowing that we aren't alone. CHEERS!!!

CHANGE IS GOOD!

2009-09-16T19:16:00.001-07:00

So I have been away from the blogging world / weight-loss tracking journey for a long time now. But I am back ...OFFICIALLY BACK. You must have noticed I deleted a couple of my previous posts. It is only cause I don't need negative posts of failed attempts around me. I think I am the perfect example of the ultimate procrastinator and also a 'quicker-giver-uper' haha. sad. Actually correctly put, someone who tries, tries and tries, and tries yet, again!!! How many refreshes and how many more 'Weigh-In #1'??? I'm growing tired of this tug of war game. There's been a dearth of posts. I admit it. I am ashamed of myself. tsk tsk...

But you can see there's also been some changes for good :) My blog got a new look and hopefully, I shall too, soon! Hhehe. I changed around and refeshed my status. Change is good. Since everything is new, so why not put in a new starting weight and set new (and more achievable) goals. You know, 'make sense of it all'.

I officially did my ''first'' weigh-in (again) on September 5th and it showed that I was at 200.0 lbs mark (again starting off).. yuck. It just made me shudder (back in the 200's) nooooooooooooooo. {i thought i said 'good-bye' to you forever?} (cheater!) So that got me to be a bit more serious now. Cause no way, do I wanna see it again!!!!!! I worked-out and ate right but I lost a mere -0.4 lb last weigh-in #2 (on Sept. 12). I was going through 'that time of the month' stage, dunno if that had to do something with the weight. Neverthless, a loss is still A LOSS. And 'bye bye 200's' (i don't wanna see you on my scale again, i mean it) muhuhahaa! 'PAT PAT on my back' XD

I've cut down on my caffeine intake; mainly when it came to 'Ice-Caps' from Timmys. They're damn delicious and refreshing for a hot summer day/evening/night, whatever and whenever. I almost got addicted but it's been cut off. Not that I said 'bye bye' to it forever. I do enjoy the sweet and cool taste once a week (the very day, after my weigh-ins). Saves money too! I am cutting down on take-outs. I've got a sweet tooth, and if the craving kicks in, I tend to nibble on some dark-chocolate at times or a 'choco-granola bar' which is way better than chocolate bars or heavy desserts and cake (my ultimate weakness).

So aside from all delicious but dangerous temptations. I have tried to work-out. Honestly, this week, I didn't get much exercise done but come next week I shall get more heavily involved. I am trying to focus on my food intake first. It is all new again..so focus on food-habits and then shift gear towards 'exercise' and toning. I am avoiding heavy meals at night. I am getting back to the habit of eating a healthier and filling breakfast now. Let's see where it leads me.

I bought myself a pair of 'new-balance' runners and I must admit, they're so well-fitted (finally) and comfy.. i think I'll run run run... am inspired to run. So this week, instead of the gym, I'll walk/jog outside and enjoy what's left of summer. I haven't tracked down my food-points. I follow the 'weight-watchers' flex-point system. I'm not officially their member but I know how the drill goes as I was their past member (both group-meetings and online). Actually I would have rejoined but at present, I can't afford to spend more money. I shall start jotting down my food-intake points from tomorrow. Need to get back into the habit. Being a fickle-eater I have to write 'em down.. easier with the weight-loss journey.

Those who aren't aware. I have been successful with the weight-watchers routine twice. It is only due to the '3Ds' - lack of dedication and dicipline & my obvious distractions that has stopped me from reaching my ultimate goals (and maintaining that) :( but now i wanna get back on track. I'm 25 years old. I want to be healthy, feel good and look good, inside, out. I gotta do this for myself. I am gonna stick to it. Try, try again. Will succeed!

There was a quote that inspired me about change. How if one is stagnant then everything/everyone changes around him or her (& trust me, it's not a good feeling). But if one moves on, forward, he/she can change everything (for better). I need to be that change for myself.. I am tired of taking the back seat. It is no one elses fault, nobody's doing but mine. I'm taking the blame. Now it is my responsibility as a matured adult to make things 'right'. I deserve a healthy and happy body and mind. If I love myself truly and also, those near and dear to me. ... i gotta do this successfully. This has gotta be my new yr's gift to ME!!! :)

I WISH THE REST OF YOU SUCCESS IN UR WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEYS AS WELL.... DON'T GIVE UP NO MATTER WHAT! turn 'impossible' into 'I M POSSIBLE' :)

Weigh-In #24:Fit & Fine Friday

2008-10-31T23:15:00.000-07:00

It is now 2+ a.m. in the morning and instead of sleeping, I'm awake and posting on my blog. So earlier today I weighed in and to my surprise...I lost a pound. Yep! You heard me right, the scale showed 188 lbs in total. I didn't really expect to loose as earlier in the week, I did indulge in sweets but then again I do remember that I didn't overdo the eating part just made crappy choices. Of course if I exercised and chose healthy foods, then I would have lost more weight. But no matter, I can't complain cause I am happy and glad to see a loss instead! Which is great! :D

To be frank the past couple of weeks, I have been very bad towards my food choices and the lack of physical activity isn't helping either. It is not about the rush towards loosing a goal-weight before my trip anymore. It is simply about sticking to my routine, opting for a healthier lifestyle instead of a corruptive and damaging one. I can not afford to let go off of what I have started. Not again! I wish to be healthier, look and feel beautiful both inside and out. I want to be a part of the fun! I have to admit that compared to the past, I feel more presentable or physically more confident; however, that does not mean this is it. It only means, I have to move forward and improve further... to feel even more fantastic. I want to continue loosing weight in a healthy manner throughout my trip. When I come back from my vacation this coming year, I want to be at my healthy weight. I want to dazzle everyone around me...I want to participate in all the things that I missed out on. I know it's a lot of 'I WANTS'...but hey anything that motivates...rite!

Earlier I called up one of my relatives back home and she was talking about her daughter, who's a year older or so than I...from what my cousin's mom told me over the phone, my cousin has gained a hefty sum of weight. She was calling her daughter 'fat' and 'messy' and worrying how will she ever find a good guy to marry. I was a little baffled at hearing this... I doubt her daughter is that heavy on the weight..at least in comparison to me. I was wondering what would my aunt think of me when she sees me. It annoyed me, saddened me. How frustrating to worry over what other's would think of me! I don't want to waste my lovely vacation trying to satisfy others who happen think so superficially. I don't understand if they expect all girls to super-models or something..haha! Don't get me wrong, she is a nice woman but very back-ward in thinking at times. I wish she could see the world in a different way for change. Very old-school she is and a lot of the others back home as well! tsk tsk....maybe I can change things around this time! I am much more aware of myself than I was before! I ain't gonna let nobody push me around!

I know if I stick to my healthy routine and be active during my trip (which is bound to happen during my travelling about) then I shall loose good amount of weight before reaching the main destination. Perhaps be below 170s lbs by the time I reach the dominant place of vacation. But mainly, I want to do this for myself...i want to wear lovely outfits, feel comfortable in my own skin basically. So I am getting back on track officially...retracking my steps which got side-tracked for a while.

Mental Note: This coming week, I shall get my physical activities in, as much as possible...eat healthy and count points. I shall also clean up my messy room :") I want to surpass the -20 lbs loss for the next weigh-in and I shall do it!!!

Weigh-Ins for Weeks 22 & 23 Updates!

2008-10-30T18:13:00.000-07:00

I've been a bad girl lately... haven't really made any updates or posts. And it is also having an impact on my food intake. Anyways, before I say anything else here are the updates from week #22 (Oct.17, 2008) and #23 (Oct.24, 2008) which I missed out on posting.

Week #22= +1.2 lbs bringing me to a total of 190.2 lbs

Week #23= -1.2 lbs taking me back to 189 lbs in my last week's weigh-in

I have another weigh-in tomorrow and I'm a little apprehensive about the scale. I have an inkling that I have probably gained a bit since there has been a complete lack of exercise and also an intake of unhealthy foods, sweets mostly due to several festivities, etc. I wish I could control myself but the temptations took over. I feel sad knowing clearly that I could have lost a good sum of weight by the end of October month, if only I stuck to my routine in an honest manner but such wasn't the case; and, I kept on playing the digits tug of war on my scale by going back and forth. Oh well!

This coming week will be different after tomorrow's weigh-in. I know I have said that the last couple of weeks but I can't let it slip by. I have to stick to my routine and dedicate myself to a healthier lifestyle before, during and after my trip. No matter what! I shall at least try to touch the total loss of -20 lbs for my next weigh-in in November 2008. I have to get my activities up. It is cold out now and my gym membership is over (i wasted the last few weeks btw... :( sigh) Let's root for a more constructive and healthier week ahead!

Weigh-In # 21: not so Fit & not so Fine Friday

2008-10-10T21:24:00.000-07:00

As predicted I gained in this week's weigh-in and gladly not as much as I feared. I put on +0.6 lb bringing me back to 189 lbs. I am not surprised at all...this earlier week's been a total waste. I didn't go to the gym at all, I planned to but naaaadaaaaa!!! Frankly, was tooooooo lazy...i know i know..it's not a good thing, especially as my gym's membership is slowly coming to an end. Plus my food intake was very very poor in choices and exceeded at times in portions. There was a lot of 'sweets' involved too. So I kind'a anticipated this to happen on the scale; thus, I am not really sulking and freaking out.

I am just analyzing my actions and rooting for a healthier and more active and fruitful week ahead. And am targetting to achieve at least more than 1lb loss for next week. It's not just going to happen magically, I shall work really hard. Have a couple of detoxing days with mainly fruits/water/fresh chickpeas and such ...nothing fried, etc. Plus the exercise, I have to increase and continue without letting the horrid laziness kick in. So here's wishing to a better and happier week to come. It's a special upcoming weekend ahead so looking forward to that...quite excited and nervous. Will share why later. Anyways...chao for now ;-) !

So far..

2008-10-07T21:24:00.000-07:00

So I've been eating quite a lot lately... actually it isn't the a lot part, it is mainly the choices that's been bothering me. There's been a high amount of sweet intake. As I feared the birthdaycake triggered the sweet buds within and thus the binging continued in a sense 'binge'. I shall be post-poning my weigh-in from Friday to Saturday for this week ONLY *sigh*. Not that it'll do as much but still gives me more work-out time plus I shall have detoxing days (2 straight days) of clean and healthy choices such as fruits / chickpeas / lentils etc. No pre-packaged or proccessed items for the rest of the days.

We're having a religious fest this week as well so that kind of pushed the sweet levels higher as well but I know it isn't so bad. I haven't overdone it either but haven't been as good as normally thus I'm feeling bloatier and unhappy :( in terms of physical health. Very pathetic latey. Plus am emotionally and mentally am very tired. Got a get-together to go to this coming Saturday; and then, next weekend is a big day and night for me. No, I'm not getting married. LOL. I just have a celebration to be part of with the family and there is a dinner but it'll be the day of or after my weigh-in which is fine. I can't believe how the time is flying. There is exactly 1 month and 1 week left. This October feels full already.

Frankly, I don't have the urge to go to the gym tomorrow but I think I will...provided I wake up on time for my ride ...yikes! I think going to the gym will break the lazy spell on me and help me get back on track. I mean...I shall steer clear from heavy-duty workouts, at least for tomorrow. But a nice jog / some cycling / rowing and a steam bath will do me and my body real good :) I can't wait to get my hair-cut next week. It is just growing out shapelessly and am not feeling too attractive at the moment. Need to give it some shape and volume especially before the big occassion next weekend and my trip. Need some good changes happening. I think I need proper sleep...i don't think actually I KNOW IT..that I need proper sleep time and activity in my life. I've been noticing that my eyes are puffier, darker and i think there are bags under my eyes too...eewww... how sad :((((( Need proper rest. Let's get back on track okay. I can't waste the October month. Got a few more days of gym membership left so I got to use it wisely!!!!!

Weigh-In # 20: Fit & Fine Friday

2008-10-03T11:01:00.000-07:00

And we are back!!! Yeppers, I'm back to my good ol' friday weigh-ins. I thought about it, what's done is done...one day won't make a super difference plus I wanted to enjoy tonight's celebration dinner with the whole family. So I stepped up on that scale and stared at a 188.4 lbs which brought me to a total loss of -0.8 lb. You heard it right. It wasn't the biggest loss but still it was a loss and I'm okay with it for this week. I knew I didn't put in too much physical exercise and eating was also 'bleh' in terms of choices.

Today will be about indulgence in terms of good food. I know I won't over do it even if I want to cause my stomach can not handle over-dose of food anymore no matter what. Yep it has gotten used to healthier choices and small portion sizes so 'garbage friday' the term for 'junk-food eating day' isn't all that junkie. hehee. So we are in October 2008 now...only a month plus two weeks before I set off on my super trip. I'm excited, can't believe how time just flies by. I am crossing my fingers and rooting to loose at least - 30 lbs by the time of my vacation. And I hope to continue loosing the weight through out the whole journey. I think it'll be easier as there'll be loads of sight-seeing and walking around done. I'm looking forward to the active routine actually, it'll make a huge difference in my weight and physical appearance by the time I reach my actual destination, which will be by early December. So yaaa...I'm hoping to be in my 60's if not 50+ lbs side by then. That is if I continue with my goody goody points system and healthy take on life, which will be the case from my perspective. YAY!

It's all in the thought for now. Let's see how it goes. But now I shall focus on tonight and also the coming week, where I would like to see a greater loss in the scale. Gotta get more work-outs in cause I've only a few weeks of my short-term membership left at the gym. Oh how I shall miss it, it has done me so much good.

PS, I haven't done much of pilates/dance cardio work outs or jogging outside in the nature as of yet but gotta start doing that. Good Luck to me!!!! :)

Friday or Saturday????

2008-10-02T13:28:00.000-07:00

So it is thursday today and technically as planned earlier I was thinking of shifting back my weigh-in days to Friday again from October onwards. However, since this week wasn't really as fruitful in terms of exercise and even food (kind of) I was thinking of doing a Saturday weigh-in just for this week. But now I've got a special occasion as it is one of my loved one's bday tomorrow (friday) and I would like to enjoy the food and yes, the cake as well. First, I thought I would avoid eating all that tomorrow and devour (hahahaa) the food next day after my weigh-in on Saturday but it makes no sense. Plus it's just one day so what difference will that make????

I think I'll mostly, probably do a friday weigh-in. Am still debating. I don't know if I'll see a super great loss on the scale but if I don't see a good enough to okay loss I might reconsider re-weighing on the saturday again. Of course I won't be eating all the unhealthy stuff. Oh well. It's okay. We shall find out tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous.

WEEK # 19: Saturday Update - BYE BYE 90's!!!

2008-09-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know I've been neglecting my blogging updates in the weekly weigh-in department. Last week I forgot to update but here we go for today...

Today was a superb day in the sense I lost -2 lbs which officially broke free of the 90's zone and got me to a 189.2 lbs weight. YAY for me :) I have been a little down lately cause I've been only loosing in less than 1 lb points the past few weeks; however a loss is still a loss. I knew I was eating right and working out quite a bit yet there wasn't a greater loss so I thought what could I actually do different for the week before today's weigh-in? I avoided 'strength-training' completely for the week. I'm guessing it is true...strength training does tone the body muscles; however it does slow down the process of weight-loss as we build muscles replacing the fats. And it doesn't show a greater loss when it comes to numbers in the scale even though physically one does get trimmer and fitter. Anyways, I am glad to see the digits on scale this week.

____________________________________________________________________

Just a quick record update on my weigh-in that I missed to post last week:

Last week # 18 (September 20. 2008) was a loss of - 0.6 lb = 191.2 lbs

______________________________________________________________

So it's great to have reached the 80's zone finally and hopefully the loss will be fast and greater from this coming October weigh-ins from next week. Can't wait to reach the 70's! I think I'll slip in only 1 day of strength-training through out the whole week in my exercise routines for the weeks to come. I'm still debating whether to stick to my Saturday weigh-ins or move back to Fridays. Let's see...being on the weekend weigh-in gives me added time for gym days I think. Hmmm.. no matter, since I'm cutting back on the strength-training (weight-lifting) I shall add on the pilates & cardio dance work-out routine which I kind'a stopped doing. Mainly am going to focus on running / power walking / cycling / rowing for the arms; and, of course the good-healthy eating! Hope next weigh-in as good :)

feeling lonely

2008-09-17T20:42:00.001-07:00

So I just got off the phone...was talking to my ex-bf...yes, you've heard it rite. I am still kinda' friends with my old bf. Not that we're the best of friends but still...we are okay. He still has feelings for me, I get it. But I don't feel the same about him anymore. I have good reasons...we both do, for not getting back together as some things aren't just meant to be. But I think I tend to reach out at times mainly because I'm lonely at times.

I really miss having a boyfriend. I don't want a boyfriend for the sake of having one but there are times when it gets real lonely and I actually wonder if there is anyone out there for me. If there is, where is he? I am afraid to dream any more though. I'm not just talking about missing out on the physical stuff...it is dominantly the emotional support/bonding that I miss..the essence of having someone there to care for you, love you unconditionally. A few of my friends are going steady with their long term or even new bfs. I am happy for them and am never jealous but I do envy them at times.

I would be lying if I say that no one has bothered to reach out romantically towards me in the past (I was also a bit on the lighter side of weight), I did have several opportunities but I just steered clear especially when I got into a serious relationship of over 3 years which has ended due to circumstances. But now it is just too difficult for me to get into anything...it is not easy to trust or to believe in the ''magic'' of ''love''. I am still positive but I know it is not something one can look out for. It just happens. Love happens! Doesn't it?

I'm not as social as I would like to be. I am sure being over-weight has definitely to do with my lack of confidence in facing the opposite sex...not having enough guts to ask a guy I find cute out. But slowly I am getting stronger and more positive. I just sometimes wish that I had someone loving to reach out to, someone to share and laugh with...someone to love. I don't want a guy to love me from the outside but also love me for the person I am...from the inside. I'm lucky to be surrounded by my family and friends but sometimes you just want that person with you...''soul-mate''??? Don't know if I believe in that stuff anymore but I can hope. I usually don't get much affected but lately when I've been seeing couples and all.. I tend to feel lonely and crave for someone. I guess it'll happen when it is meant to. I'm just not the type to go out on dates (not that there is anything wrong with it) and try out different persons. I believe in being with just ''one''. Plus I don't really get asked out much and I'm too cowardly to bother. Single life is good but it gets lonely :(

So far...

2008-09-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

Hello! So I've been a bad girl as I've been neglecting my blogging. Yes I did update my weigh-in status weekly; however, I haven't really posted anything. Perhaps it is due to the fact that my loss hasn't been that great. I know I know...I should still make a note of it but don't know. I have been feeling weired lately. Anyways, last week was my weigh-in # 17 and it was Saturday, Sept 13. 2008. I only lost -0.4 lb and that's it! I know a loss is still a loss! It is true but I have been good through out the week and exercising pretty much consistently through out the week yet I haven't seen a great deal of change in the scale. I feel like I'm battling through the whole 190's zone...I really wish to get out of that.

Maybe due to my strength trainning, my muscle gain (fat loss) is also resulting in a slower weight change in the numerical sense. It is for sure that I'm in fact, trimming and toning though. However, I will be happier if I see a numerical loss on that scale the next time I step in. Here's to a better loss for this coming Saturday.

PS, great news my mom's been joining me at the gym for this week (free trial at the gym) and it is really nice to have her there and she's enjoying her work-out even though tiring.

FRIDAYS OFF...Saturdays for September

2008-09-11T21:25:00.000-07:00

OMG! I can't believe this..I wrote so much and all got deleted. Anyways, I shall try and cut this post down a bit. First things first. As you can tell from the title above. I have shifted my weigh-in days onto Saturdays only for this month of September 2008. It will resume back to its normal Fridays from October. I just feel like this gives me more time for my exercising as I hardly workout on the weekends. This month will le'me catch up.

Aside from that last week (Fit & Fine Friday, Sept 5, Weigh-In # 16) I lost about -0.8 lb only and that brought me to a 192.2 lbs for last week. I know I got too lazy and forgot to fill in the details of last week's weigh-in but won't let it happen again. I wonder what the scale will show for this coming weigh in on Saturday. I am looking forward to it yet can't help but feel a tad bit nervous. I don't want to be disappointed as I've been working hard. I can happily say that I got more exercise in for this week plus have been eating within my points-value limit...no less nor more. Just right! I think. Well the scale will tell... i can only wish upon myself some ~~~((((looser vibes)))))~~~ LOL. It'll help me reach my goal faster. I just wanna get out of the 190's zone now. It's been dragging on for too long. It's time to say 'Sayonara'.

I can't believe my trip is coming closer and closer...only 2 whole months left. Time is simply swooshing by. I don't feel as nervous as I did before about loosing all the weight before my trip. HAHAHA..it isn't possible at least not in a healthy manner. I am okay though. I know I shall continue my healthy routine even during my vacation so that I can reach my goal weight by the time of my return to Canada. I am also going to change the 'SUPER VACATION CHALLENGE '08's aim from the loss of -40+lbs to about loss of -30 lbs at least before my trip. Hopefully (cross my fingers) I shall achieve that. Okay I'm really tired right now. There's so much to share as it's been quite a long time since I blogged but am totally tired now. So will c ya later...till saturday's weigh-in.

Weigh-In # 15: no so Fit & not so Fine Friday

2008-08-29T09:12:00.000-07:00

Hmm...the title above ^ says it all, doesn't it??? I had an inkling that today somehow wasn't going to be a great weigh-in day for me. I did exercise and eat well (but somehow it wasn't up to the mark). It was just a strange feeling I had in me. Yet I couldn't help but wish and wonder why the digits didn't remain the same instead. I gained +0.6 lb which brought me to a 193 lb. I weighed in several times but this was the most consistent of all the digits that appeared on my scale.

I am feeling down. But it is okay - not the end of the world. I shall try to improve this coming week - be a bit more watchful. I tracked my food intake but more mentally than in actuallity. It is just that I have been really watching what I eat and no matter what I'm still active in comparison to my past but it isn't doing much. But then again my body is perhaps already getting used to this change thus it isn't making much of a difference anymore; it probably expects me to work harder now.

I am saddened and feeling down but blah... i am still tonning and working towards my goal and that is what matters at the end of the day. Here's wishing to a better weigh-in next Friday :) One of my greatest problem that even dad happened to bluntly point out is that I go to bed too late and wake up late as well...it isn't helpful for my body but harmful, which is very true. Thus my goal is to get to bed early and rise early to a nice hot cup of black tea with honey. Let's see if that makes a difference for the coming week. I know it will ;-)

Weigh-In # 14: Fit & Fine Friday

2008-08-22T12:52:00.000-07:00

Let's get to the point. I weighed in earlier today and I lost -3.4 lb and that brings me to 192.4 lb weight today. YAY! I am so happy. Even if I say so myself, I've been working hard at the gym and eating really well through out the week so I expected to see some loss. But this really made my day and motivated me further more. I was nervous, especially when I weighed in the very beginning as first it showed around 193.4 lb on the scale but I waited out and tried again and it showed the 192.4 lb mark and I checked it several times after to be sure but it didn't budge from those particular digits, no changes so I was happy to accept it.

I am looking forward to another week of hard-work and great loss on the scale. Investing on my gym-membership has been one of the best decisions that I ever took. Because it has made me more focused towards my goals and definitely, it is helping me trim and tone my body faster and better. My parents have mentioned several times on how trim & fitter I've already started to look physically. I notice that I have exactly 2 months and 4 weeks till my trip. Excited yet the pressure is on but still like I said 'A-OK'! I browsed around the mall today for clothing items. Didn't buy anything cause I rather wait out till the end (before my vacation) to shop as I know I'll have shrunk more in size (and weight) by then.

Another NSV is that I'm easily slipping into my older clothes that I started ditching as I was putting on the pounds before. But now they are loose on me. What can be more inspiring and motivating huh??? I am so excited to see my true self as I morph into a healthier me. My parents are happier and proud of me. So am I, because I'm honestly working hard to achieve what I want. I really want it bad but I'm doing it the right way. I hope I succeed further in this journey towards a happier and healthier lifestyle :)

Sweating it out

2008-08-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

So there's is exactly 3months & 1 day left till my trip. Can't help but feel a strange rush of happiness and fear. Time is flying by. I just returned from the gym and must say that after every workout, it leaves me feeling good and fit. I know there is a long way to go but still can't help but feel excited and nervous as the days pass by. If I can loose -30 lb more by the due date of my vacation, I'll be one of the happiest persons ever as it'll bring me so much more closer to my goal. I've to train myself like an athelete these 3 months with sheer determination and dedication to my daily routine, food intakes and work-outs.

So I have alrady started slipping in runs within my treadmill's super-fast walks. I really enjoy sweating it off in the gym, it is strangely refreshing to workout in my own sweat. I know it sounds nasty but exercise does help you feel positive about everything. My strength training is going well. Need to incorporate more in though. I have yet to participate in the Aerobics/dance work out classes that they offer at the gym (it takes place early in the morning) and me, being the lazy bum - I'm always too late. But that seriously needs changing. What else? I'm looking forward to this Friday's weigh-in even though this past weekend I did eat up a bit of junk. Last night I enjoyed a vanilla cone ice-cream drizzled with chocolate syrup. It was good but not as delicious as I expected it to be. Maybe I'm getting too used to healthy routine or something. Anyways, here's to a {{{{{{{{{{loosing}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} weight week!

Weigh-In # 13: Fit & Fine Friday

2008-08-15T07:23:00.000-07:00

Hi! So it's that time of the month for me, yeppers...and I've been aching all over like anything. I mean it's good to go through the monthly cycle but it makes one feel bloated & nasty. Even though I've been watching what I eat and been exercising well. I had a feeling that either I remain the same on the scale or probably have gained a point or two. However, luck is kind to me as when I first weighed in earlier today it showed a loss of -0.2 lb and after a while I checked in again and it showed that I lost -0.4lb (and I checked several times to be sure) which brought me to a 195.8 lb total for this week. I have an inkling that if not for this monthly guest I would've lost more weight but this bloatiness plus additional water in the body or whatever I showed a little more than it is suppose to be.

I am looking forward to next week's weigh-in. I have even started running in the treadmill. I didn't think it would be easy switching from really fast walking to running but it was. I do put in slow-down gaps in between in order to re-energize but it is enjoyable. Plus I have kept up with my strength-trainning by weight lifting and stretching (mainly for my flabby arms & thighs). And for my NSV (Non Scale Victory) this week my body feels more toned and it feels like I lost an inch or two from all angles as I wore my clothes (especially around my upper arms, which is a *YAY* matter indeed). Strength-trainning will surely help me trim and tone my body/muscles. Looking forward to an even healthier and fit and fabulous week ahead! Cheers :)

Ms. Tomato???

2008-08-13T17:37:00.000-07:00

So I have been working hard at the gym. Trying to get in much work-out done to the best of my abilities, treadmill plus strength-training. The days I stay back home, it is mainly pilates or brisk walking outside for me. I have to seriously learn to wake up early in the morning. And now, am going to add jogging in the park & pilates additional minutes even during the days I go for gymming. It feels great to get a good workout after all. I feel a difference but I'm not really seeing much of a physical difference. I know it is asking for too much too early.

So everything's going well and suddenly to burst my happy bubble I get compared to a freaking tomato. Yep, you heard it right. I was moving towards my apt's balcony (where we're growing a veggie patch) and the freagggin security guard who happens to pass at the time, greets me and also manages to slip in 'hey the tomato is looking like you..haha'. OUCH! Of course, it is suppose to be funny... and I didn't how to react immediately, thus the foolish laugh in return. But I felt such a sting. This is not what I want to hear. I understand tomatoes are a healthy bunch of veg. and they are nice red and delicious but they also happen to be 'round' and stout. I felt a burn in my face. My mom was in the kitchen...dunno if she heard the remark but she didn't say anything or didn't look up. Probably feels for me if she did hear. It is sad. I feel like telling the bloody guard off but what to do. Reality bites. I recall being compared to a 'big balloon' once. HA! It hurts! People say things so easily without thinking twice how it may make the person on the receiving end feel. As a young girl at my age, I would love to be compared to a rose (i know it's cliched) or what not but a round vegetable or a gassy balloon?!?!...eerrrr...no thank you! Some one just did a boom boom to my self-esteem once again. I know I shouldn't give anyone any power to hurt me but still it stings cause I'm only human :(

I guess this can only push me to work harder towards my goals. But it feels like forever. I know it sounds immature and lame but I just wish I could see a more drastic physical difference in my body & my face. I'll try to bite the bullet for now.

Weigh-In # 12: Fit & Fine Friday

2008-08-08T19:31:00.000-07:00

Earlier today around the morning, I had my twelefth weigh-in of the week and I lost -2.2 lb. *Phew* I was very tensed about this weigh in after last week's episode. I knew my last weekend wasn't as good as I gained a bit and I did binge (mainly on the sweets front), however; I did play goody through out the whole week in my choices of food / proportion sizing and also exercising. I have been attending the gym and also doing weight-training on my own. So far so good.

I wish to extend my work-out routine and add on the aerobics too. The classes usually take place during the early morning hours and I usually go in to the gym later in the day. I have to start going to bed early as well as waking up early in the morning. It is definitely a good habit to adapt. Hopefully this coming week will be good too. Since I have lost over 10 lb so far, I rewarded myself by giving myself an old 'I lost 10 Pounds' ribbon that was presented to me by Weight Watchers a few years back when I was loosing weight. This time being on my own I thought it is a deserving reward and I am very proud of it.

binge eating yet again

2008-08-04T15:39:00.000-07:00

So I had a bing-eating weekend; mainly the last two days were practically disastrous for me. It was mainly the bad choices I made, especially with sweets involved. I told myself I wouldn't and yet I did it again. Why oh why do I do this to myself????? Especially after that stupid meeting with that personal trainer, I kind of lost that gist to keep on going. It makes no sense, I know. Of course, it would be utterly foolish and wrong of me to say that I wish to give up already. No way. But I also don't like that time is simply flying by. Why is it like that when you need time, it rushes and when you don't care, it is slower than a snail??? My hope has stooped a level lower in comparison to the very beginning of this journey. I guess I'm getting distracted. Plus maybe this journey seems too long yet so short. Do I make sense? But it is a lifestyle change...not a temporary fix-it. I dislike my lack of control. It is not like I'm depriving myself of food, yet when I come across sweets/mainly at my own place I go weak. It's not like our house is full of unhealthy junk but since we had guest over I let go of myself. How sad! The freaking +0.8 lb weight gain bugs me even though it's nothing. It's as though it'll sabotage my goals even though in reality it isn't really that big a deal.

I am such a lazy fool. It annoys me. At times when I binge eat, I totally feel like that fat lady on top of those diet books yet stuffing her face off. YUCK! Am I kiddin' myself? Something or another pops up to interfere with my normal routine. I know I shouldn't beat myself up but this is a hazzardous behaviour and an unhealthy attitude to hold onto. I must act upon it. I was browsing the net for a definition of binge eating and also how to overcome. Ofcourse it isn't easy and it is best that you consult a proffessional; however, this article maybe of some use. I shall try an apply it to my some what corruptive routine. I shouldn't let outside factors get me down. The motivation makes a difference. I need it back. I need it back. I need it back. I feel like am in some kind of a competition, how to loose weight within a shorter time span...ofcourse the main reason being my trip yet I can't live up to it. The Trip should be a motivator and not a stressor. As time is zooming by I feel the rush and panic. It is unhealthy and wrong way to go about and I agree. I have to stop thinking like that. And remind myself this is an ongoing, life-long journey. And my healthy eating and active routine should continue even during my trip so that I can achieve my goals easily during my trip perhaps. It is possible. This thought helps lighten the burden that I've been carrying. Let's see. I have been neglecting this but I should really come up with the list of why I should and wish to loose weight. The big dos and the don'ts.

Weigh-In # 11: not so Fit & not so Fine Friday

2008-08-01T07:18:00.000-07:00

So I feel like shit today. I weighed in and ta-da...I gained +.08 lb (basically what I "lost" last weigh in). I know this is a normal part of the weight-loss game; however, I can't help but feel so beat up. Especially after I heard my parents' weigh in. They lost really good digits on the scale (plus it being their second weigh-in after watching what they eat) and truly, I'm happy for them. Because my parents are getting healthier. However, am also aware of the fact that they didn't do as much as I did throughout the week in terms of exercise. Maybe I should be less strict on what I'm eating. I'm giong to have to sort this out. What is the problem?

Maybe I'm slightly bloated as my period is long overdue and it is effecting my weight. I should stay positive about my next weigh-in. I can't believe I actually cried a while back. I know this is normal with the ups and downs. Yet I feel disappointed in me. I shouldn't I know I know... I think more than anything, at the back of my mind I am so scared that I won't be able to loose enough weight or look trimmer by the time of my trip that it is depressing me. But this is not a game with a certain time-line or I shouldn't be so restrictive towards achieving my goals. It is after all a lifestyle change. One thing for sure, those people back home have quite the impact on me & my esteem... even though it shouldn't matter. I think I have to go through the stuff all over again as in WHY I really want to loose weight? Whom am I doing this for? For others or MYSELF? [Ofcourse me, to be healthy, to feel good, to look good.] What is healthy and what is not? What is ''NORMAL'' and what isn't? I should relax.

Well it's okay. I shouldn't freak out. I'll have to detect exactly where the problem lies and try to rectify it. Maybe I'll go over my old WW-food points tracker sheet and see what exactly I was eating to help me loose the weight. I'm feeling slightly better NOW :) After all am no 'Debbie Downer'.

Gymming

2008-07-31T12:47:00.000-07:00

So hurray for me. I joined the gym yesterday. *PAT PAT* on my back. It's on a short term basis but I'll make the best use of it. Today, I had an hour appointment with a 'free' fitness trainer. Unlike my high hopes, he was more of a consultant as he didn't really show me around which are the best equipments or routine to follow in order to achieve my targets. He was just jabbering on and on with his 'fitness' mumbo-jumbo, busy trying to sound fancy and official. No offence but he wasn't really helpful. At the end of the day, his ultimate goal was to get me to sign up for a personal fitness trainer in exchange for a certain $$$fee$$$. What a surprise! NOT! He was going over all the stuff I already knew. What a waste of time! Plus he didn't motivate me much ..in fact quite the opposite as he made me question or doubt my present work-out or eating regime. The whole time I sat there inside that box of an office of his, I was thinking inside my head what the heck is he blabbing about and kept on calculating, without explaining much??? Why am I here? Why did I fix an appoinment with this guy??? Of course it was all FREE and I thought I was going to learn something new & constructive. But this guy was a classic text-book case for he regurgitated everything he knew. Frankly, it was a big disappointment.

Oh well..I'll simply continue on with my regular acitivities, perhaps add a few more new exercise routines to further challenge myself physically. My goals are more realistic now than before. I'm still going to keep at it to win my own challenge. My ambition is to reach atleast within the 150s (lb) range by November 2008. I know I can do it. I am very much aware that this is a lifestyle change. I feel different. The truth is no one but I, myself can bring forth this change in me - physically and mentally. No matter how much one pushes you, at the end of the day it is all up to you. The choice is yours to loose (either way). Well now that I think about it... this appointment today has challenged me more. I shall work harder. I have witnessed innumerable weight-loss success stories here in our very own bloggers world. They've all been huge (no pun intented) inspirations in my life. If they can do it so can I.

{P.S. Tomorrow is my weigh-in, and I'm a little nervous!}

Weigh-In # 10: Fit & Fine Friday

2008-07-25T08:05:00.000-07:00

Patience
- By Tina Louise

I am waiting

Though not in stillness as I wait

I am hoping

Though not in despair as I hope

I am dreaming

Though not in darkness as I dream

I am longing

Though not in emptiness as I long

I am trying

Though not in futility as I try

I am learning

Though not in ignorance as I learn

I am becoming

Though not in nothing as I become

I am being

While eternity teaches me patience

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This is how I'm exactly feeling at this very moment and will continue to learn the many virtues of patience as I carry forward with my weight-loss journey. Today was my weigh in after a roller-coster ride of a week with its many downs and ups. I weighed in and seemed to have lost -.8 lb this week which brings me to 197.8 lb. It isn't a great loss but it is neverthless, A LOSS and that is what matters. Even after a week of no exercise, and so much stress and lack of proper sleep I managed to loose even if it is a 0.8 lb. My weigh-in#11 will be on a new month so here is to new beginnings and lighter weigh-ins. I am looking at the bigger picture (no pun intended) and I know with sheer dedication and perseverence I shall acheive my heart's utmost desire. I'm working on my 'WHY I WISH TO LOOSE WEIGHT' LIST ..even if it is obvious for everyone, I would like to jot down the actual, innumerable reasons - to better reflect upon as a source of strength to continue on =) Good Luck!

Feeling numb but got a WAKE-UP CALL

2008-07-21T12:02:00.001-07:00

Last night was one of the most frightening experience of my life. Not too long back I was thinking about making a new post regarding the ups and down about my weight-related life and suddenly it all got blurry & nothing really mattered any more.

Right in the middle of the night, my mom suffered from severe chest pain and her left arm was having sharp pains through her nerves (we didn't want to think of the worse but it couldn't be helped / Fortunatley we discovered it wasn't a heart-attack). My mother's has been suffering from cold and cough problems these past few days...and she is suffering due to the cough a lot as it isn't letting her rest and sleep. My dad and I decided to call in the emergency medical hotline. She was slightly improving as I massaged her hand; however, the medical authorities didn't want to take any chances and sent over the paramedics. I am so greatful to them for their helpful & comforting attitude. Mom's blood-presure was really high. I wanted to be strong for my mom yet I couldn't help it ...i couldn't hold back the tears as they kept on pouring. I have never been this scared. I have heard of other near and dear ones suffer and felt for them; but, to witness it happen in my very own house was a nightmare come true for me. I didn't know how to react actually. I love my mom as she is my bestfriend & the thought of loosing her made me simply feel everything and nothing. I couldn't picture it and didn't wish to at all. She was taken to the emergency ward and was immediately checked in for tests and all. Fortunately, by the grace of God, she is fine now... i accompanied her at the hospital for the whole night.

There were innumerable things going through my mind last night and they still are. About my past, the present and future. We should have been more cautious about our lifestyles. I know we were making changes but more is necessary. I prayed several times, we all did and finally...early in the morning, today - she was released. She is still taking medications; however, the severeness of last night's situation has been dealt with. I also feel so bad for my dad as I know he is very stressed (he too, has bp issues) but he was standing strong for all of us. I feel so scared for them. I tried to sleep a little earlier...and was tad bit successful but it was surrounded by unfriendly/restless dreams. And now I am too afraid to go to sleep cause, my mom is resting and I don't want her out of my sight incase she needs anything. But I know, she'll be okay. I already knew that I love my family, my parents...however; this experience made things much more clearer for me. I urge you all not to take your life, your near and dear ones for granted.

Health is Wealth! It is true to its core as without our health we have nothing. We tend to abuse our health/bodies too much with junk food, excessive food & drinks intake, not enough exercise and of course the daily life's stress doesn't help either. But instead of waiting for things to get better, we have to act upon it now. I have promised myself and also asked my dad to abide by that we will strictly follow a healthier lifestyle from this day forward. No more getting off track, slipping off...eating unhealthy or not being active enough. I also do not wish for us to set an unhealthy example to my young nephew. Life is precious and our bodies are to be treated like temples - pure, clean, healthy. It is more than just being thin, looking good or wearing fashionable clothes. It is about adding to our life's span...making it easier on us to step into the outside world...lead a 'normal' day to day life and basically enjoying the simple things that we take for granted. Life in reality is quite simple but it is ''us'' - we are the ones who tend to complicate things for ourselves. All we need to do is eat well, sleep well and stay active or at least try to incorporate as much in our daily lives...the rest will fall into places. I don't wish to take anything for granted. I was, already, aware of my goals but now am far more ambitious. I can't let my parents neglect their health either...I need them.

I have to be more responsible and take care....I am going to get my mom and dad to follow our 'Weight Watchers' routine to better understand the pluses and minuses of food and life in general, I blieve it'll steer them in the right direction. We must not abuse our bodies so easily...we must learn to take care of it, learn about self-control, priorities in life. What is more important? Health is one of the number one focus for us now. I am scared but I have faith in myself and in God... We shall survive this!

Weigh-In # 9: Fit & Fine Friday - ding ding ding..ONEDERLAND!!!

2008-07-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

YES!!!! This weigh-in #9 is probably one of the most sweetest surprise for me this friday. Frankly, speaking I was secretly dreading the scale even though I knew I was eating healthy and doing my best to incorporate at least minimum amount of physical activity within the week.

However, after checking in just a while back this is what I discovered...I'M HOME BABY! I am finally in my 'ONEDERLAND' zone!!!! That's right, I have lost -3.6 lb and it feels great cause this brings me down to a '198.6 lb' =) I seriously wasn't expecting these particular digits for I just didn't feel that this week was particularly difficult for me cause I wasn't craving much...wasn't desperately looking forward to easy-friday chow-down or anything. It was simply smooth sailing. I simply controlled my urges (which was easy as there weren't much) and just went about normally. I didn't get as much work-out in but there's been walking. This is a happy one for me for last weigh-in really saddened moi.

AU REVOIR 200!!!

...and here's why: I am thankful...

..because I'm loosing weight in a healthy way
..I'm more serious and real about my weight-loss goals
..I am fully aware that this is a lifestyle change even though it gets difficult at times
..I'm learning the virtue of patience & am thriving on dedication as I take it one step at a time
..I find myself 'smiling' more and in most of my pictures now =)
..I actually found myself looking more attractive in the photographs now in comparison to a few months back
..I already feel lighter and more energetic than before
..I opt for more coloured clothes to wear now instead of plain 'black' to hide under
..My self-esteem got bumped up
..Unlike some of my past bdays, I had the most fun during my 24th; and I danced like crazy & had uber fun during my bday party w/ friends without feeling self-conscious or tired as I was high on fun instead of being low due to too much food intake
..I am looking forward to a healthier and an improved 'ME'
..I am more optimistic about my future in general
..I AM HAPPIER :)

Weigh-In # 8: not so Fit & not so Fine Friday

2008-07-11T07:58:00.001-07:00

Aaarrggghhh!!! The dreaded weigh-in after last weekend's madness...my fear for the scale proved itself to be true. I have gained weight +2.2lb! Yikes! I am simply aching to see the 100 zone...but nope, being yo-yoed within the 200lbs FOREVER is too much. I feel so let down. I know I haven't gotten much exercise in as I've been sick and the weekend was crazy with food. But two whole pounds???? I feel slightly shattered. No more mini goals for me?!?! No, not for now...not yet at least.

I guess I shouldn't beat myself for this. Tomorrow is a new day. What's the point sulking? I can't give up. Even though it feels like I'm restarting all over again :(((( Can't help but feel sad.

..my thoughts so far

2008-07-09T21:10:00.000-07:00

Finally the crazy week's over with & am so glad! I wish I could say that I have been a good girl all the way but that isn't the case. I have tried my best to control my food intake, however, being the all-time foodie that I am it is hard to resist delicious food. The past few days I have been really sick with cold & cough, therefore, it has proven to be a good excuse for not exercising. I have not worked-out at all, minus a bit of walking here and there. I won't deny that I've been physically weak;hence, am not completely guilty. The past weekend was horrible with too much food and very little exercise and now I can't help but wonder what will the scale show, come Friday! *shivers*

I have no intentions of post-poning my mini-goal further anymore. I have tried to get back on track and maintain my food intake so far but still don't know how the weekend madness will influence my friday's weigh-in. I desperately need to see the onederland zone. It's the second week of July already. I can not waste time. The past few days, I have felt that I've slightly lost that passion towards my goal. I can't afford to get distracted from my objective. On the other hand am also proud to say that I have not finished up my bday cake yet (which was uber delicious) and there's still the soft cookies left in the packet. If it was the old me, all these things mentioned would be cleaned out (probably within one or two days max). But not anymore :)

Bonus Points: One of my friends at last week's party noticed that I've lost weight. I know that I've got a long way to go but the fact that she already noticed the difference; without me mentioning anything to her or anyone else, it is a great sign. Just imagine the reactions after I loose more weight! It was/is such a boost to my esteem and quite the incentive to keep me working towards my goal, especially, after the terrible work-experience (since last blog, update: i am so over that..letting it go).

I want to get well soon so that I can hit the gym as soon as I feel physically able. Even though I am back on track with my eating now, I can't help but feel a little lost and disappointed. Why? Because I fell off the wagon even if it is for 2 or 3 days. Food is 'fuel' for the body - to provide energy. We 'eat to live' and not the other way around. Earlier I came across this blog about how not to bring 'junk/garbage/unhealthy' food to your home - best to avoid it by not buying it so that you won't be tempted at all. Instead I should learn to load up on healthy fruits/veggies and snacks at home so incase my hands reach out for another helping or two, it should be for 'good' food. I have to start reading more on nutrition/food so that I can develop a better relationship with food cause giving in to unhealthy temptation(s) is one of my biggest weaknesses. I can't take my body for granted. The truth is the more I learn about healthy living in all aspects, the easier it'll get to loose the weight. I should stop worrying and start learning the many ways to living my life to the fullest.

On a more lighter note:Instead of stressing, we should learn to enjoy our weight-loss journey :)

insulting the FAT girl

2008-07-05T11:26:00.000-07:00

So I just got back from work a while back and I have to post this cause I'm just soooooo f$#%! annoyed right now that I need to let it out or else....BOOM! Everything was going great today, well so far.. there is a new really ''older'' guy at our work place (soon to retire)...he is over the top personality wise. He tries to crack crappy jokes and is apparently getting on ppl's nerves. Ding Dong! He managed to do that to me but what made it worse he tried to make a fat-joke about me WITH ME, that too, infront of other people (I work at retail btw).

So here I was minding my own business then abruptly he tries to make these silly moves, making a punching motion towards my stomach (hence, indicating I am fat) (not really hitting me actually) and then he was told me 'DON'T EAT ALL THE PIZZA, Save some for us' <-- some crap like that since we had a pizza treat day at workplace today. Fortunately or unfortunately a customer called out to me right in the middle of that and I barely heard him and doubt anyone else did. So the whole scenerio/conversation got cut off there. But I did get it. I was sooo angry and embrassed - couldn't think straight. The fucking bastard didn't even realize how humiliating that can be. And it is not funny or acceptable in any situation. I wanted to crush his rotting head or rip it out...sorry for the violent thoughts and pardon my language but I need to release this anger that is boiling within myself. Also the very moment he was making that freaking comment on me, our boss called out to him at the same time (I wonder if my boss heard him cracking that crap of a joke which was more of an insult). Maybe my boss got the hint as in where the convo was leading towards and had a talk with jerkface. They were chatting but don't know about what. But later again, the bastard old man came up to me and he was trying to make nice with me all of a sudden and acting all authoratative. He said 'btw make sure to grab some pizza before you leave'. I replied back sternly 'no thanks, I don't eat junk'. He was trying to make fucking conversation with me with some lame jokes later to make up for his idiotic and insulting behaviour I had a feeling...maybe he realized on his own (highly doubt his thick empty skull can do that) or maybe my boss cautioned him to behave.

I don't know if my other co-workers heard this...they were busy but still. I was embrassed and I wish I had a better come back at that very moment and confronted him. Instead of being all quiet. I did not wish to create a scene. He spoiled my mood, the environment for me. I gave him cold-shoulder the rest of the day even though I was polite enough not to say anything mean back to him. But I won't stand back if the jerk-a$$ tries to pull another crap or even some stale joke with me. I am so gonna clear it with him...give him the message. I hate people who make stereotypical jokes and are so very inconsiderate of other's feelings or emotions. No matter what I am going to make sure he gets the message very soon. Cause I am not going to take crap from anyone.

I am not going to let anyone disrespect me. I have been working hard to loose weight successfully and I don't need a dumba$$ to bring down my self-esteem (which sadly stooped low immediately when he made the fat-joke to me at the moment) so that he can feel good about his ugly self. Even my grumpy boss appears to be better in comparison to this jerkface know-it-all. I am not going to give anyone so much power that they can make or break me. I am my own person. I know I am working towards my goal and that is what matters. Even though i feel like crushing him..hahahaa. But I feel better now letting this out and can not let it ruin a perfectly beautiful day cause the truth is I have the control.

P.S. He'll be sorry!

Weigh-In # 7: Fit & Fine Friday

2008-07-04T08:38:00.000-07:00

So here I'm just after my week #7 weigh-in and I have lost -1.4 lb which brings me down to an exact 200.0 lb. Yeppers! It's great, however can't help but feel a lil' frustrated as it is so so sooo close to the ONDERLAND zone yet feels so far!!! If only I exercised more through out the week. I did not do much (blame it on feeling sicky). But if I did, I know I could've celebrated the 1_ _ lb mark this week. Oh well...once again I have extended my mini goal. Hahaa, what is the point of a mini-goal if it gets extended for a long time every week? :-p Anyways, I am not going to crush or rush myself. I was afraid I gained but I didn't, in fact I lost. Resisting my very own birthday cake & delicious food does pay off! hahaha...but today is my easy friday so I'll enjoy the delicious bday cake now. Two more parties are left this week but it'll be easier for me now...promise not to binge!

P.S. I have turned 24 years old earlier this week. It is great...feels like I'm getting older too soon even though from within I feel just like a kid. Anyways...I want to be healthier this year and I am proud that I have managed to dedicatedly loose over -7lb so far. I can do this. This is my ultimate gift to myself.

I have to detox myself this coming week and also work-out. I haven't officially joined the gym that I was trying out but will join soon enough. Anyways, here's cheering to a new beginning and a new me :)

mini-binge day :(

2008-07-01T22:12:00.000-07:00

A belated Happy Canada Day to ya'll! Hope it was as fabulous for you as it was for me =) I simply adore fireworks and earlier tonight, it was a feast for my eyes with all the lovely, sparkly colours hugging the sky. What a sight! There is so much joy in simpler things.

Anways...off to my other issues. So this week, till date I haven't really gotten any form of exercise done = guilt trip! I haven't been feeling too well actualy but now I'm doing much better than before. I was lacking a little energy but today after the fireworks, luckily we walked around a bit so it was satisfying. I have tried my best to maintain my food intake as I already knew that that this week would be utterly dangerous. Earlier today my mom baked a delicious chocolate - devil's food cake. The name suits it for all the right reasons...hahaa! So I eventually had a taste of it...a slice...then a bit more. NO! I did not devour the whole cake but I know I had more than a fair share. Actually I felt out of control as I was also looking around for more food to eat, which is not a good sign :( Fortunately, I managed to stop myself from a complete disaster. And I most probably stayed within my points but still, I can not help but feel guilty for the cake overdose plus the lack of work-outs lately. How will I be able to reach my onederland at this rate???? I have to go out and do some serious jogging and pilates. I was slacking off. I can not use this events-filled week as an excuse to fall off the wagon...i gotta keep on moving.

You know what helped me push back on track again? Not too long back, my dad & mom complimented me... that I am already starting to look slimmer and healthier than before. I personally feel happier and more energetic. At this rate I shall be able to reach my goal if I stay dedicated to my plans and focused on my goals. Those words meant a lot to me, very encouraging. I can't give up. I won't give up... I barely escaped today from what you would call a mini-binge. Let's hope not repeat. I think I'll cut out the idea of getting a birthday cake for myself this week as there are other, healthier ways to celebrate. Especially cause there is going to be cake in the weekend which is unavoidable... so why not avoid whatever I can for now. For my own good. It is sooooooo worth it.

As the saying goes "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!"

Weigh-In # 6: Fit & Fine Friday

2008-06-27T14:57:00.000-07:00

So I had my weigh-in today in the morning. And taadaaa..I lost -2lb this week!!! It's great and am happy for the good loss but still I was hoping for a bigger loss because I wanted to hit home-run by stepping into onederland within the month of June (2008) which was my mini-goal; however, I didn't get to it. It is okay. I'm still loosing and that is what matters. Ha! It sounds funny to say that. So now I'm weighing at a 201.4lbs which is fabulous. Crossing my fingers for next week's weigh-in#7 because my new short-term mini goal is to reach within the onederland zone. So gotta work extra-extra-extra hard! By the way another fab news. See that picture to the right? That's me! Hahaa..doing the hard-stuff on the trademill but not running after a cake, instead it should be me running away from the cake. I have been hitting the gym and it feels great. Been on the treadmill for 50+mins already and sweating it off. I am loving the feel of it and even though it is co-ed, I'm adjusting fine. Everyone is busy with their own thing, with one similar aim - to be healthier. I haven't officially joined the gym yet as it's based on free trial-passes but am seriously considering it cause I can see a faster, and a more positive outcome through this. I can see myself reaching my goal faster. The two days have been great so far.

But not all is so rosy and great. It'll be a difficult week ahead for me. There are too many events and parties this coming week. Come thursday and I'm on a roll baby. My bday weekend will be one of the most difficult one. Why? There will be cakes. You heard it rite, not one but possibly chances of 3 cakes. Am celebrating with another friend and fam. And did I mention that I simply looovvvveee cake? Especially chocolate cake. I just hope I don't loose control and binge. I'm worried for Thursday's party cause I have my weigh-in the very next day (Friday). And I can not afford to gain. I need to shade the digits in order to reach my mini-goal for week #7.

One good thing is that I am aware of my weakness and am about to take cautious steps by strategically planning out the coming weekend and the week ahead. Damage control, etc. This is actually a test for me. If I can surpass this hurdle I should be safe and it's a green go-go sign in the weight-loss department. I wouldn't have made it such a huge deal either but I have had past patterns of doing well with healthy-eating choices and suddenly, loosing control and then binging out at some event or after the event as I get a taste of the delicious stuff and then I just fall behind and quit yet again.

I don't want to repeat the same mistake. I don't want to fall off the wagon. I just want to keep on moving straight as I know my destination, therefore, I have no intentions of side-tracking this journey towards a lifestyle change. One thing for sure I won't deprive myself of what I wish to eat cause that will press my button more (in other words 'cravings')...I'll have a little bit of everything I desire but 'PROPORTION SIZE' and 'WILL-CONTROL' is what I shall keep in mind. I shall also work-out like a mad dog later to make up for all the unwanted additions. I am glad that I am realizing and isolating the problem ahead and am deciding to take steps to prevent myself from loosing control. I don't want to dread the lovely events but welcome it confidently, aware of my needs and nots. Also for the party am thinking light and 'healthy' but delicious dishes. So let's see what I can whip up. This should be a chant that these events, the parties are mainly about celebrating an occassion with the people I love and care about. Food is just part of it and not the whole thing. So I should enjoy it but not devour everything in sight just because. Will keep you posted cause I need all the support I can get! I want to welcome my 24th bday with confidence and a healthy glow.

Random thoughts...

2008-06-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

So it's already Tuesday, June 24th but earlier (yesterday - June 23) I was being a lazy bum. Yeppers I didn't go out for a jog...I was planning to but by the time I was getting to it, it was rainning, then there was a hail-storm and what not for hours. Yep, the weather here has gone bonkers! But that shouldn't be an excuse for not working out at home at least.

I did weight-lifted (4 lb each) cause I've got flabby arms that are in dire need of toning. And I did a bit of stretching but I avoided the pilates and my dance cardio-workout dvd. How sucky is that? Fortunately I ate within my points (in fact I had extra points left). I need to get my act together. Friday is fast approaching. Also I'm considering joining a local gym. They provide free passes to try out and see how it works out for me so I think I'll take it. Even though I go out and do my brisk-walking and jogging..having the gym as a backup with all its additional facilities and group classes should work well for me. I hope it works out. I wish I could go to an all-women gym for I'm very self-conscious but the co-ed is the more closer to where I live; therefore, it makes sense. The main thing is I'm there for a healthier me so I shouldn't give a damn as in what will others think. You know what? I am looking forward to it. Will keep you posted about my gymming plans.

Got Stretch Marks?

2008-06-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

I do! You must be wondering what's the deal the image to the right? Well, I have stretch marks. I don't like them but I can't help but accept the reality of my life and skin. This is mainly my fault because I have neglected my health and skincare thus the stretch marks increased with time and I have it pretty much in most problem areas - under arms, near the boobs, my back and waist area, my thighs and it is quite an embarrasment. Most of the areas are safe cause they are under wraps anyways; however, I avoid wearing short sleeves not only because I have fat arms but also due to the stretch marks and I don't know if I shall freely be able to wear a tube-top in the future.

There is always make-up to cover it up but not the same. It is not easy to deal with the stretch marks and I'll cover on that issue in a later post. Now on to the main topic of discussion. Recently I came across the ad on television on 'BIO-OIL' and must say it looked quite promising. It recently came out in the North American market and the price is acceptable too. Obviously, it doesn't make the marks vanish magically but it does help improve the existing marks and reduce the chances of developing future ones. It also works for scars, uneven skin tone, aging skin and dehydrated skin as well. I don't know how reliable this product is but I shall try it out.

I bought a 60ml bottle at Walmart yesterday for only $11.97 which is better than the shoppers drugmart deal for $13 something. It requires me to massage the oil in a circular motion (twice daily) on the problem areas. I really hope it works. I can use a bit more boost to the esteem and I shall keep you all posted as in how it's turning out for me. I know a lot of people have stretch-marks due to various reasons, especially those over-weight but I just wonder what is it that you do to deal with the problem? Are there other solutions as well???

Chicken Momo

2008-06-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

About MoMo: Momo is a type of Tibetan dumpling. They are delicious and they can be steamed as well as deep fried. Momos are commonly made in Tibet, Nepal, Bhutan, Sikkim, Manipur, Nagaland, Meghalaya, Himachal Pradesh, and West Bengal (particularly in the Darjeeling district). In some Indian cities, fast food stalls selling momos are common. Learn how to make/prepare Chicken Momo by following this easy recipe. There are different Momo recipes with different ingredients for both veg and non-veg eaters. You can always play around with the ingredients as you desire, personally I can't take too much heat so I end up putting 1 chilli or none - whatever satisfies your taste buds. It's light but filling. Bon Appetit!

Ingredients

• 250 gm Chicken, boiled and minced

• 500 gm Plain wheat flour/maida

• 2 Onions, finely chopped

• 1 Inch ginger, finely chopped

• 2 Green chilli, finely chopped

• 2 Cloves garlic, finely chopped

• 1 tsp Soya sauce

• Salt to taste

• 1 tbsp Oil

How to make Chicken Momos:

• Combine flour, oil and salt in a bowl, mix well. <--quite a work-out for the arms if you're doing it from scratch. Or you can always buy the store-made dumpling wraps (but not the same with the taste because those sheets tend to be thinner and momo's wrap is thicker & fresh)

•Add water to make it a soft dough.

•Chop green chillies, onions, garlic and ginger.

•Combine them with minced chicken.

•Add soya sauce to it and mix well, set aside.

•Make small balls from the dough.

•Roll them into a small round and put 1 tsp of the filling in the middle.

•Seal it by using a bit of water on your finger tips to stick the ends together (any shape, i.e. like a traditional dumpling or size - usually small to medium) and steam in a momo or any steamer.

•Steam it for about 20 minutes +.

•Serve Chicken Momos with tomato-garlic sauce if desired.

Weigh-In # 5: being a looser is great!

2008-06-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

So I had my weigh-in earlier today and guess what? I lost -2.8 lb and which brings me from a 206.2lb into 203.4lb!!!! Am so happy to share this news with you. A whole week of hard work and determination did the magic. I know I didn't do as much as I could have through out the week but I know that if I put myself into it even more & work harder then the results will do wonders. This has motivated me more. I really wish to reach onderland within the month of June and there is only one weekly weigh-in #6 that is left in June, which is next week so I shall keep the motivation going and work hard.

It is true "You can change your life...when you change your mind". I feel happier about life and just within a short week's span I feel physically and mentally lighter, at ease (even though I know there is a long way to go). Last night I was thinking that I can not afford to, I don't wish to waste my life away. I'll be 24 years old soon and I don't want to spend another year full of regrets and wishful thinking. I want to start acting upon it and make life happen for me too. I see my friends leading healthy, normal lives and I, too, deserve to be happy like that. WOW...I sound like I have lost all my weight already in just one week. It is true when people say that 'it is all in the mindset" our thoughts and its ways will influence us so I rather stay positive cause I have had enough of negativity (they go hand in hand). But why not enjoy the good side for a change? Ha!

Also the self-help books are helping along the way because I am learning, actually trying, to accept myself with all my flaws. I am trying to face my weakness and strengths one at a time. I shall try to change my negative habits, improve my outlook on life and health but also try and sum up the courage to accept or co-op with what is 'reality' that surrounds us as well.

Anyways...today is Friday and since it was my weigh-in earlier...I tend to ease on my diet (this day only). No, I don't go crazy and eat everything at sight but I do enjoy myself. I'll try to remain within my points limit but if I pass a bit or two - no biggie. I am planning to make a delicious and fun dinner tonight...one of my all time and old favs - MOMO! It is a type of dumpling but not completely the same and it is yummylicious! The bonus part of this great dish is that it is small in size and steamed (some ppl opt for frying but traditionally and the best way is to steam it, which brings out the taste and it is healthier in comparison). I shall post one of the simple recipes tonight and maybe you, too, can try it at home (anywhere) and enjoy so stay tuned.

Move your fat arse

2008-06-17T13:07:00.000-07:00

...that's right! "Move your fat arse" is what I said to myself as I finally managed to get my bum out the door for a quick jog/walk around the park about 30+mins. Actually I woke up a lil' late today and I was planning to go out eventually. But with time, I got just lazy and wasn't really in the mood. But still I managed to get myself dressed up and was about to step out when I saw a bit of drizzle..yep sign of rain to come so I stepped back without a thought and slipped out of me good ol'workout clothes. But our Canadian weather seems to be PMSing...cause these days there is no fixed weather...one minute it rains, then hail storms, bright and sunny and back to the cloudy mood. Anyways back to me...so I waited it out a bit thinking that I'll just skip today's jog but then I saw that the weather was improving and I started to feel the guilty pangs thus I reminded myself of the SUPER CHALLENGE"08 and got ready once again.

It felt great the moment I stepped outside and the best part is no regrets for the day :) The fresh air, the quick walk and then the tiring jog...it was all worth it. I am so glad I stepped outside, forced myself and the weather improved even more cause it's still sun shiny out there. I came home and even did a 20 minutes worth of rigorous 'Winsor Pilates' work out (video), which helped me with my stretching and left me feeling even better. I have to say I didn't eat any crap (don't mind my lang.) since yesterday. The weekend was a bust due to father's day and another party. I did not over-eat but the food choices weren't the healthiest but the week's so far been good. Cross my fingers. I just hope I loose some numbers this Friday =) Good Luck to all you strugglers out there. The hard part isn't really the working-out bit, but, actually to make yourself go out there and do it... motivation, abuse, whatever...i'm using it all, without really doing any serious damage of course!

SUPER VACATION CHALLENGE 2008

2008-06-13T17:56:00.000-07:00

...the ultimatum of this year...

VACATION CHALLENGE "08!

You heard it right, it ain't no dream. I have challenged MYSELF and HOW!!! I shall be going on a vacation to visit back home and I need to look my best. It is no longer about the people back there as in what they will say and think about my physic (they have done enough of that already, behind my back and straight to my face, good/rude intentions included). This is more of a challenge to myself...I need to do this for myself. I needed an ultimate motivation and now I've got it. I can't afford to slack. I wanted to loose weight before this long-due trip but it kept on getting post-poned but no more. I have exactly 5 months, 2 weeks to loose -50 LBS by the end of November 2008. You can see the additional vacation date tracker by the side panel.

No, I am not going crazy because it is actually possible to accomplish if I set my heart, body and mind to it 100%. I have cheated myself enough and I have a tendency to trail off but this time I have no other option. If this sounds shallow then be it but I want to look good, I want to be able to wear beautiful outfits and be actually able to fit into them. I want to feel comfortable with myself, with my body without giving it a second thought. I am not going on any crash diets or not popping any crazy pills. I shall learn to discipline myself & it is do-able. This is something that I should have done a long time ago. But better late than never as the saying goes. I shall follow my Weight Watcher's healthy way of tracking what I eat through points system and by exercising, doing workout as much as possible to the best of my abilities. I am aware that there might be some hard and easy days in between but this shall continue. I don't want to fail myself. Not anymore. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be healthy. I want to be able to begin as well as complete my goal honestly & successfully. I know I can do it...it is possible and I have seen it happen. Take it this way... -50lbs equals to loosing about -10lbs per month. It may not be as accurate but I shall try my best to reach there...I know I can and I will! Here's to our goals!

So here's to the ultimate challenge of 2008! This is for me and only me.

First CONCEIVE, BELIEVE and then ACHIEVE.

Weigh-In # 4 + Up and About

2008-06-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

This sucks! This sucks! This so so ssssuuuuucccckkkkssss!!!! *Phew* glad that's out of the way. No wonder today is Friday, the 13th! Geesh. So I gained +1lb today! It is just 1lb yet I feel as though I am a yo-yo being tugged and pulled still within the 200lb realms and this sucks! I was mostly a good girl this week and was quite active. Yet, I gained even though I was quite confident that I would show up a greater loss than usual today. I won't deny the fact that I am very disappointed. And I won't lie that I am gorging down 200+ calories worth of chips & cookies right now. Not a good example am I? Nah! but this is where it stops...i won't go nuts and I can not, will not give up for the rest of the week. I am disappointed but not sad. Come this Friday, and I am going to loose double the normal weekly weight-loss. It seems that following the core-plan from Weight Watchers isn't my thing...i need more hardcore, strict to the points system to follow, hence the flex plan is in order.

I went out for an early morning brisk walking then I also went to the local stores outlet nearby and purchased these two beautiful flower sets to plant- beautiful red dahlias and stardust pink fiestas. Aren't they a delight to the ears? They are very pretty too, will soon upload the pics. I have taken into gardening...it gives me a natural joy. It opens up a nurturing, caring, more natural and simple side of mine. I love flowers as they make me happy. I am creating a small mixed - flowers' & plants patch. I think planting flowers and even vegetables & plants (if you got a garden/patch) it provides a different form of relaxation. You stay active but the process is more enjoyable and soothing as you see the results while the plants grow right infront of your very own eyes. You get to see your accomplishments in a quicker span of time.

As I continue to speak or write, I just realized that I should look at my body, myself as a one with the nature, which it is. I should learn to nurture myself in more ways than one. So that I can grow to my full-potential as a being. What an insight! I enjoy my blogging time as well...so much to release. See I am not sad about the slight (yet strange) weight-gain cause I know I'm slowly but surely converting my lifestyle. Last night my aqua-fitness class went really well, felt every muscles in my body stretch and ache in a good way. Am also considering joining a dance class very soon. I can't afford to give up now like so many times before. It is high time.

PONDER OF THE DAY: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can; and, the wisdom to know the difference."

Morning Yoga

2008-06-12T06:15:00.000-07:00

So today, I did it! After several days of unsuccessful attempts at trying to wake up early for my walks, I finally, managed to get my bod off of the mattress and step out into the dewy world, in the ripe hours of the dawn. It was refreshing and 'feel good' time for me as I did my fast-walking blended in with just hints of jogging. The weather was cool and no sight of the scorching hot sun... it was perfect in fact. There were quite a few groups of elderly couples taking their morning walks, doing their tai-chis and more. It is amazing how us young'ins can't get off our bums while our elders have the energy to step out early in the morning for a healthier and better lifestyle. We are trapped in today's so called 'jet-aged' lifestyle. I mean I look at my mom and she amazes me how active she can be at this day and age. Yes I am 23 years old and I still live with my parents *gasp*!

Anways, I am fortunate that we've got a huge park nearby and it's all green now, feels so good to be in touch with nature even though we do get our usual passer-by cars driving off to their busy day of work. I had a pleasent experience after my walking session as we sat down for some serious Yoga which is so fulfilling. I felt at peace and in-tune with myself and nature. The breathing exercises definitely help especially the stomach area plus my posture. We have picked up our yoga skills through the helpful dvd that we purchased not too recently of the famous Baba Ramdev a.k.a. Swami Ramdev of India . He is very well known and followed by people all over due to his great efforts to popularize Yog (Sanskrit term) and his stated principle in life is to be of help to all and as such the (yog) sessions are conducted free of charge. It helps the body, mind and soul as expected of it. It gives you a natural high for the day and I urge anyone interested to try it out cause it sure beats stress as well ;)

TIP OF THE DAY: Very helpful if you don't already know - early morning when you wake up drink a glass (if not half a glass) of warm water mixed in with lemon juice. If you want it sweetened honey is a wonderful natural sweetner that provides other skin & health benefits as well. It is supposed to cut fat. As Martha would put it 'it's a good thing' ;)

PASTA QUEEN - CONTEST ENTRY

2008-06-09T09:57:00.000-07:00

I have entered a contest hosted by Jennette Fulda - the PastaQueen herself. Yes! You've heard it right alright! Wanna learn about the contest & the wonderful prize??? Then visit this link below>
http://www.pastaqueen.com/halfofme/archives/2008/06/how_to_lose_192.html

Also enjoy the fabulous video of how she lost 192 lbs within 7 seconds ONLY!

Weigh-In # 3 + Lazy Girl's Guide

2008-06-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, this is my third weigh-in in a row and I have lost -1.2lb :) YAY! A total of 2.4lb which ain't bad for someone who isn't 100% dedicated to the program yet. But things are about to change my friends (sounds familiar? lol)..i feel it, there's something in the air or just my mind and heart. I feel better & more positive.

I have been trying to go through several 'Self-Help' books and mind you this doesn't mean... a desperate cry for help, it is a sign that I am willing to improve myself by mind and health wise by any means necessary. Other than the usual soul-talk books, I came across this fantastic text called the 'Lazy Girl's Guide to a Fabulous Body' by Anita Naik. She is an author, journalist, columnist and has advice books and guides to almost everything. I have to admit that when I first grabbed the book I didn't have too high a hope for it. I mean the title wasn't too convincing but as the age-old saying goes 'never judge a book by its cover' (same is applicable to many persons).

The book isn't some lame, quick-fix guide but it actually helps one learn to adjust one's mind and habit in a healthy manner without really feeling like its all work and no play. Alot of the food suggestion are similar to the WW program I was involved in. The underlying message was 'eat less and do more' and stick to it! Eat less as in eat in proportion like a healhty person should. There is much more than that to the book, the best part of it being entertaining. Usually I get tired of reading half-way through when it comes to certian books; however, this one due to its sheer natural and honest lines that one can completely relate to..it is a winner. It makes one believe that she can do it without feeling absurd. I have just started reading the book and will apply myself properly to its dos and don'ts as they are realistic and doable. Also try & surround yourself with positivity. Yet another step towards fabulousness ;)

LIFE...GET ONE!

2008-06-03T20:25:00.001-07:00

So here i am...it's second week already and friday is coming soon (my weigh-in day)! I have not really devoted myself to the whole eating healthy and working out business 100%...let's say barely 10% has been touched upon.

I don't know why I always do this to myself! Everyday I decide that it is a new day for me yet once again, inevitably I choose to say '..tomorrow onwards'. Why??? There are times I secretly doubt myself...maybe I want to stay unhealthy..fat forever?!?! It is sickening. I mean a girl my age should be active, having fun out there but no, I'm worse than older ladies. I have no social/romantic/basically any life at all.

I'll be going on a trip with the family this winter...it isn't as far off as it feels. Time flies! I won't become slim in one day. I still have time but I have to work hard. Gosh...i don't know what I can do to make my will stronger. I am so not strong willed like some. I know everyone is different and have got to work at their individual pace but I have none - pathetic! I am not at all ambitious. I talk...i talk the talk...but do I do the work? NO! ZERO...i suck! Come'on at this moment I should be saying to myself that I shouldn't be so harsh to myself but hey, no point. What is the use? Today I am saying this & immediately tomorrow or after a couple of days, it is as usual forgotten. I am sick and tired of this constant destructive behaviour of mine. I need to fix things around me...get things straight.

I should eat food for energy AND ENOUGH of the lazying around. Yikes!

I should be looking out for part-time jobs ... finish up my pending workload...which has been post-poned innumerable times. My room is a pig-stye....actually at least pigs are better as they are being themselves. But what am I doing? I am aware of all these issues yet when I try and get to it then I just stop. STRANGE! I secretly wish to lead lives like those that surround me yet I can't seem to get to it. No one is stopping me. I am being my biggest barrier (literally)!!!!

I am sick of this full of excuses attitude of mine and my negative thinking pattern. Just recently I heard...if I want something...I have to do it myself...get it for myself...it won't happen all by itself. I am slowly getting to know what I want but I need to seriously prioritize and simply act on it. It isn't that difficult. It shouldn't be...to live one's life. I have started reading this book called 'How not to be afraid of your own life' by Susan Piver and it is somewhat helping, making me more aware of what is happening. I have to seriously get rid of this self-destructive nature of mine and step on a new stone. Tonight, I am going to bed early so that HOPEFULLY I can wake up early tomorrow and go for my walk/run. I want to enjoy the day instead of wasting it watching the idiot box (geesh, no wonder they call it that). I am just growing tired of this. I don't want to be past-30 years of age and still have no life. I need to get my act together. Enough of the sloppy life, frustrating life style...smartening up is in serious order. I have to stop panicking at every little thing. I really hope I can do this. I will be very strict with my eating plans from now on...tracking everything and posting here should be made more often. It helps. Enough of the lameness... IF I WANT A LIFE.....I should GET ONE!

Weigh-In # 2 - DOWN AND ABOUT

2008-05-30T07:42:00.000-07:00

Ok so here I'm in for a surprise today.... I weighed in just a while back and I lost -1.2 lb!!! YAY! I know it may not appear much to some but still this negative weight is a positive sign for me :) I was actually worried that I have gained a pound or two for I have been very naughty this week. Eating this and that - mainly unhealthy stuff...didn't really get much work out done. And even though I went out walking a couple of times through out the week, but still, it ain't much compared to what & how much I've been eating lately. Maybe it is cause I just had my period (which explains the cravings) this week after a long wait.

I won't complain. No matter what the reason. I'll take this as a bonus and as a push to tell me that enough of my stalling and 'start from tomorrow onwards' thoughts. I have to do it from today, now, this very moment. So instead of aiming straight for the choc-cookies or sweets or chips...i grabbed the healthy cereal box and enjoyed a small bowl of delicious mango-slices for my breakfast this morn. Yumm! Feels good. Gotta get my activities kickin' in now! And soon I shall be on my way to 'Onederland' (100's)!!!!

About my first weigh-in and more

2008-05-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

I officially weighed in yesterday for my blog. I weigh 207.6lb. I'm just 5'3 and so much weight is not good for my height and built at all. However, I can't help but feel a little more positive this time around with my weight-loss plans...why? I am blogging that's why! It'll feel as though I'm reporting to someone in order to keep a tab on me plus everything will be written down.

Let me tell you about a wonderful thing called 'Weight Watchers' that I was part of as a member long time back. It worked like a miracle for me...I was steadily reaching towards my goal as I was very dedicated to the plan. It positively helped me as it was do-able. I was receiving a lot of compliments, positive responses from everyone around me. My level of confidence and happiness was rising every moment while I was loosing weight. Unfortunately, due to some personal family problems in my life I quit and went back to the same, unhealthy lifestyle of uncontrollable eating and no exercise what so ever. When I look back at my earlier weight loss process I feel so (proud) but mainly sad/angry at myself that I quit when I was reaching so close to my goal. I gave in...and gained more weight than before. (I don't work for WW, but if you are thinking about getting outside help for weight-loss...after talking to your doctor, do consider WeightWatchers as an option > their group meetings or through online. Plus the online discussion forums are free and good as ever. I go there sometimes and I receive their free newsletter).

I urge people not to quit...don't give up no matter how tough it gets. The end result is worth the hard work. If I had stuck to my Weight Watcher's program that time, I probably would have led a very healthy and a completey differnet lifestyle by now. But I can not dwindle upon the past and feel sorry for myself. I have to take responsibility for my actions. I made a mistake. I gave up on myself and I can't do that again, no matter what! In the beginning I wanted to loose weight for many different reasons. This time, one of the reason is that I'll be travelling soon during my winter-vacation and my relatives haven't seen me for a loooooong time. I didn't have a great experience when I visited the last time as people were very harsh and cruel to me about my weight. This time I wanted to show them I'm better (more like an approval-seeking gesture). Thankfully, soon I realized that I shouldn't be doing this for anyone else (especially the ones who were so mean to me). If I do this properly it should be for myself! Only I can make myself do this, no one else can force me. I deserve to live a healthy life, I deserve to feel and look beautiful...i don't want to miss out on life. I can not let other factors sabotage my present health-plans. Not anymore. I have to learn to cope with thing in a more constructive manner instead of choosing 'food' for comfort. I'm not part of the Weight-Watchers program now...but I am aware of their ways... so I shall try to impliment them in my day-to-day life through tracking my weight once a week, watching what I eat and by being active.

I really want to succeed this time. I'm 23 years old and frankly, I don't have a social life. Even when I get opportunities to have fun, I shut them out. As hard as it is to admit, I lack in self-esteem. But things have to change. I can't waste away like this. It won't happen all by itself one day...I have to make it happen. Hopefully I can share some really great achievement stories with you all. If you are going through something similar...please don't give up on yourself... don't be cruel to your body, to your mind, your soul... I am slowly learning to become my own best-friend.

Hello! My name is...

2008-05-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

..So! This blog is about me & my weight-loss journey. 'Boooo..not another weightloss diary' you think outloud. Well this blog is about more than just tracking my weight. After several unsuccessful attempts, here I am, finally! It will also keep hold of my journey towards self-discovery (wow, how spiritual?! well yes and no...i'm just very confused with my life right now -->I call it the 'feeling quite pathetic right about now' stage of one's life..thus, actually having high hopes that through blogging - it'll help me track my life's direction and figure it out better) plus I get an opportunity to improve my writing skills. I am going to reveal more about myself as days pass by so do give me some company (it gets lonely out here in the cyber-world). Feel free to jot down your input but try to keep it more constructive and less negative <-- i have enough of that already!

I'll do my best to keep this blog honest & up-to-date. I shall try to remain as faithful as possible to my weight-loss goals.